Never smart or cool, or pretty enough...

Its 8.45pm...Halfway through watching an episode of Fringe...

Then i dont know...I just felt like going to my thinking place and listening to some JoJo songs...

It started with Too Little Too Late...after that Never Say Goodbye played...

Its been a while since i heard the song...

One of my favourite songs out of the first JoJo album...

Was listening to This Time just now...But i switched it to Fairy Tales...Arguably the best song out of the first album...well to me at least...

Give me a few minutes to listen to the song...

"Cant you tell me what love is all about?"
"That's why i don't believe in Fairy tales"
"There's no such thing as Fairly Tales"

Is there really no such thing as fairy tales in real life? I had always believed that one day i would have a fairy tale story of my own...Will this be the Fairy tale im looking for this time? Only time will tell...

Almost nine o'clock now...Must be something wrong with me...I feel so empty...

I turned on Exceptional...

Thinking right now...would you sing me this song one day?

Just changed the title of this blog from "Never Say Goodbye to part of the Exceptional lyrics...

I turned on Weak...

Put on my headphones...was listening using speakers right now...

Heard a few ambiguous sounds downstairs...Im supposed to be alone in my house right now...But too lazy to check...

Ok fine ill check...

Everything seems to be the same...Still just me alone...

"No way i can deny it, your love so sweet...it knocks me off my feet..."
"I swallow my pride...Your love is so sweet.."
"In a daze, your love is so amazing, its not a phase...I want you to stay with me, by my side..."

Keep on Keepin' On is playing...

Why am i typing all of this down? Who knows? Filling in this empty feeling i guess...

I'm going to stay at my uncles house tonight...he went to Indonesia with his wife...so wanted me and my bro to take care of children for a bit...

My love is online...said "ellow..."

Cant i say anything better?

Damn...i felt my heart jumped...the empty feeling is starting to disappear...

Im gonna chat with my love now...till next time...

No colours this time...some things are better as they are... ;)

A fantasy in reality i may be...so will u accept me if you see me as me?

The sun sets in the distant horizon...the time? I don't care right now...

The only thing that appears in this dark abyss i call my mind is the person who captured my heart...my soul...the person who seems to be perfect in the most imperfect ways...the person who's voice is sweet and gentle...

She's cute whenever she wants to be...she's hot whenever she wants to be...she's crazy whenever she wants to be...she's romantic whenever she wants to be...and she's everything to me...

Yes...its true...I do at times think that I'm not good enough for her...I mean who wouldn't think that? Me? An un-athletic hormonal teenage emo boy with pimples and a tooth missing...ok i may be getting a bit too carried away here...but still i wouldn't be me if i didnt think that...

Someone once said: Never make promises you can't keep...

Its true i cannot promise that we will have a happy life together one day...we will always be there for each other...but i can tell u this...

Everyday i pray that we will have a happy life together one day...we will always be there for each other...that you and I are happy together even when we are worlds apart for now...that one day we would meet and the love we have will stay...that we will still be in love even when the earth stops spinning and the sun sheds its final light...

Only three words left to say and i mean it with all my heart... I love you...

To a needy child =p

This is especially for Miss SARAH MST...

"I" (the I has quotation marks...Hint hint) would like to say : SPEEEECIAL THANKS TO SARAH MST FOR HER WARM HUGS.

A present for u...haha...me givin u a present on MY BIRTHDAY! =P

Birthday...

Time: 6.05pm

What i should be doing: Studying

What i just did: Go to my thinking place a.k.a Window...

Its my birthday today...Wooo~ the big 18...also known as the legal age to do...ummm...legal things? Haha...

First person to wish me...Azim Pg. Chuchu...childhood friend...he wished me a happy birthday even before it is my birthday...haha... thanx bro... =D

Person who wished me birthday most number of times... Batrisyia...Once thru a comment in FB...then a msg to my phone...and then a status msg in FB...Haha...thanx a lot luv... *hugs* ;)

What i did before 12.00am...Chatted with Ayla for the first time...(Y)...Actually i was supposed to go studying with my bro and his friends...and get a nice little treat from my bro's friends after that...Haha...but ah well...decided to submerge myself in the virtual realm for the night...talk/chat Ayla who was having some problems, tried to help with the situation and had a bit of fun here and there...Hope everything goes well for u... =) ...and u better be grateful...i missed a treat for u... =p

What else happened? Had quite a few bday wishes from a few ppl... (Thanx =D)...my cuzs called me at exactly 12.00 to wish me bday...(Thanx Ina n Rara =) )...Yesh (2nd bro) gave me a box with 8 small bottles of perfumes in it...haha...That's basically the only present i got...*sob sob*....Hahahaha....what else? Ummm...went for chendol with my friend and a few of his friends (he didn't know it was my bday today i think...he didnt say anything... =p)...and that's basically it...Very eventful day, no?

And this is the 2nd time i get no birthday cake...I want cake!! Haha...wanted to buy a slice at Secret Recipe but then that would just be sad i think...haha...

Oh yea...And i got divorced today...again...well at least it lasted more than 30mins... XP

Too much sleeping...

Time: 5.56pm...

What i did before: Watched 2 and a half men...

What i should be doing: STUDYING!

These past 3-4 days something weird has been happening...Ive been sleeping a lot...and when i say a lot i mean sleep at night...sleep in the afternoon and at times sleep in the late morning...so a total of about 12-14 HOURS of sleep a day... =_____=

Its not really intentional...i mean...i do open my eyes everyday at about 9-10am but then somehow i just keep on lying down, closed my eyes and poof! Im back in slumberland...

And the thing is...i usually sleep at about 12-1am....so waking at say 9 would mean that i would already have a total of 8-9 hours of good sleep...and that is wayyy more than what i usually get...which is about 5-6 hours of sleep a day...

Why damn it why?

I would like to call it mental exhaustion but lets face it...I have not been studying as much as i should... =(

Feeling "Blah.."

As i type this, it is now...8.55pm...according to my trusty clock at the bottom right hand side of my screen...

What i should be doing right now? Studying of course...next Monday would be my 1st exam...*sigh*

But...as u can see im not in the mood...

Why? I don't know...i guess its cause "someone" is not online...(i sound pathetic)

But i don't blame her...she got stuff to do and i got mine...but i don't know...if i don't her online i would just feel..."blah"...Haha...

I keep on telling myself everyday that the next day i would wake up early...open my books...and study till late in the evening...but up till now...its still not happening...

I need some motivation people...HELP!!

P.S. I just realised...Colour on certain words does help express what your saying more... =P

NEW LAYOUT!!!

I was bored so i searched around for a new template...Actually im not loving the look of it right now...haha...I just like it cause it has 3 columns and looks more organized...(Man i sound like a geek)...

Owh Yea...Look carefully at the star up there...its actually sparkling... >.<

It's been a while...

It had been almost...2 months since my last post...haha...Yea well i know that i said i'll update at least once a week but...couldn't be bothered to...haha...cause i've been buzy with studies and stuff...(Yea right... =p)

The reason for this update is cause of sheer fear of my luvly wife and lover Batrisyia smacking me in the ass in a non-cute way...xp

This blog was originally to write "as much crap possible bout my messed up love life"...(Haha...quoting myself...=p)...but then screw that...haha...Now its dedicated to all the randomness in my life...(Y)

As proof...I've changed the look of the blog from the somber black to my favourite colour...=D

Actually i wanted a cooler looking blog but then...i don't know how to use custom templates and stuff...haha...

I did think about changing the blog address...but "another shot to the heart" still sounds wicked... =P

Now to answer the question of "have i gotten over her"...I went to my favourite place...(The window in my room =P)...and thought about it...Now this was about 10 mins before 7am...it was still quite dark...i breathed in the cool air...

To me...yea...i have gotten over her...If you have read all my previous posts, all the "She left me...i didnt know...im lovesick...heartbroken..." then u must think "Reaaaallly? ^o)" ...and the answer is still a definite YES! Haha...

I read back all of my old posts (to proof to myself really) that i am over her...and guess what i did when i read all of it...i laughed...hard and loud...XD

My god...Its amazing how emotional a guy could get...well a guy like me anyways...haha...Below are some of the stuff ive said over the course of "recovery from heartbrokenness"... =p

Seriously...two months with me...well for the first month ive been comforting you while the other being your bf...U SERIOUSLY STILL CAN'T FORGET BOUT THE GUY??!! (A very very dumb statement now i think about it...haha)

The longer this "fight" lasts...the more i believe in this... (But the fight never ends...so the believe went away...haha)

OK :-) Im actually confused between fantasy and reality (A very very true statement... XD)

And a special thanks to BATRISYIA n FALY cause you guys been reading my blog from a start =) (And also Sarah and Wafi and people who had been there...Without you guys...I might still be posting lovesick crap on this blog... =D)

haha...my eye is twitching... haha...n down goes one tear.... And down goes another tear....(This is what i call...over dramatic writing XD)

I could always delete my fs, delete all of her pics, delete this blog even, like what she is doing...which to me really is kind of childish...(And i still think the same...haha..)

Just cause you have a bad experience, it doesn't mean that you have to erase it. Why? Cause by doing that, you will never learn anything. You would just make the same mistakes again and again...(And also think the same about this...haha..)

Cause this is getting wayyy to sad...even for a...wait for it.... SHEMO (Sarcastic Happy EMO) like me... XD (Now a new definition of SHEMO exists...Its Super Hot EMO... XD)