Dammit! I need ideas!

Now that i've decided to stop writing about her...I've got no idea what to put in this blog...Haha...

Well the story based on my love life is one thing that i would do....but other than that? Come on people...Contribute a little! =P

Him: Pass a messege

It ends tonight - The All American Rejects -

Just feel that this song fits here... =)

What i was supposed to say on this day to her was : 100 days hv passed n we've been together thru it all..happyness...pain...hardship...n i would go thru it all again 4 another 100 years...as long as we would still b together...forever.. :)

And also: ur the air i breathe, the blood that flows in my veins, the beat in my heart...i cant live without u..

Awwwhhh~ XD

She was also supposed to say some things which i decided not to post here...cause...mehh... XD

I was gonna send her a mix CD with a list of songs which described my feelings from before the relationship till after the relationship...But then she would just give it to someone else if not break it into small pieces and throw it away... =P

There was also an idea of having a side A and side B...Side A being songs if she wanted to be friends...side B being if she didnt want to be friends...in other words...side A is love and side B anger... XP

Another idea was to send her a simple text saying that Im waving the white flag and just a goodbye but then...being her...after readin the 1st word she would either delete it or text a FUCK YOU to me... =P

Well yea...People who know her...Please pass on this message to her please? Just tell her i wish her the best yea...Do whatever she wants...As long as she's happy...well i cant lie and say that ill be happy...but...(lets just use a quote she always uses)..."I'm used to living in pain"....haha...and most imporantly... HAVE FUN! =)

Him: To Clarify...

You know what? For the past 2 months or so people kept on saying " What are you doing? You could do so much better.." Or "Do you realy think she's worth it?" Or "No matter how long you wait, she would never want you back..."

Well listen people..Honestly i don't want her back... Well not right now anyways...She's wayyy far from ready... =P

All i want is...you know...for us to maintain as friends... That's all, nothing more...

Losing her as a girlfriend...ohhh....boo hoo...weep weep...yea...i got through that like a loooong time ago...Haha...

Just was bored and had too much time... XD

Losing her as a friend...Yea...that was really a shot to the heart...Seriously she is one of a kind...Someone who is fun to just talk to, just fun to have around...With her things can be as happy as a rainbow or as hectic as hell...or as romantic as the last moments in titanic =P

Yea...that was hard to get through...

Him & Her: 100th day...

Before i start I'll asked this a long time ago: What happens when the beast meets beauty?

And my friend Faly gave a wicked answer: The beast becomes the beauty, and beauty becomes the beast...

(Hidden meaning there XD )

Know what today is? Its the 100th day of our relationship if it didnt die out... Haha...

I have never thought about the "100th day" actually till she suddenly said one day she's waiting for 26th December...Our 100th day together...At the time i was really blur...cause i had never once in my life thought about the 100th day...Even set up an alarm at that time just in case i forget...Haha...

And she said she never really cared about me and her... =P

Well as of this day...i would stop writing sad stuff about my messed up relationship with her...well il try my best anyways...Maybe just follow the advice of some people and make an actual story losely(or heavily =P) based on my love life... =P

Cause this is getting wayyy to sad...even for a...wait for it.... SHEMO (Sarcastic Happy EMO) like me... XD

Dammit...i just found some juicy stuff bout her saying she doesn't care that im sensitive or sarcastic....(She couldn't stand my sensitivity supposedly)...But i've decided to stop this talking about me and her...well after today... XP

But still never mind...couldn't really be bothered anymore...i got bored...Haha... XP

Him: The Feeling of Not Being Missed

I made this poem, surprisingly, just a few days before the fight...Haha...I don't really know why though =P ...I also wonder if this is one of the factors that caused the fight...But well...Who knows...

Warning: The EMONESS of the following might cause severe depression, mental breakdowns and/or thoughts of suicide. (XP)


The Feeling of Not Being Missed


Sorry...but there is a feeling of emptiness,

of pain and sorrow ever present in this hollow heart,

the cold feeling of a one sided relationship.

Every time i see your picture,

the feeling of missing you is ever present,

which i am not sure you deserve,

as i am not sure if you feel the same...

Confusion withers this young mind,

the feeling of one missing the other,

more than the other,

the feeling of being lost,

the fear of being found again.

So here,

my last gift to you,

a single tear,

and a withered black rose... --;-;-@

Song Writing: A song for her...

This is a song i made up with a friend of mine...about 2 months ago i guess...made especially for her... =P

Its not exactly complete but its bout 3/4 way done...so enjoy...

Untitled

[Chorus]
Everytime I looked in your eyes,
I see the pain inside of you,
Something I wished I could erase,
Something that I tried to do.

But looks like my efforts turned to dust,
Looks like what I did wasn’t enough,
Now that I’m gone from your life,
The fire in my heart is snuffed…

[Rap/Verse 1]
Now all I need is a simple song,
to rest this wondering mind.
Wondering who really is at fault,
Knowing that it’s not my fault,
But sure wishing it was mine.

Thinking all day what I should I have done,
Wondering if I could somehow turn back time,
Change all the things that I have said,
Change all the things that I have done,
Just to make you feel happy and pleased,
To know that I’m always there in your time of need,
Please tell me girl if there is something I could do,
Not just write me off your life and make me feel like a tool.

[Chorus]

[Rap/Verse 2]
Your words pulled me out of a dark abyss,
yet now they sting like a viper's kiss,
my life was hanging on the thinnest thread,
and with you ignoring me that life is as good as dead,
Thought to heal my tainted soul,
yet you dug me a 6 foot deep hole.

[Chorus]

Writing credit to:
Unknown76 and FFW of PMT

Feel the Muzic: Love story

Honestly...I have never been a fan of Rain...Heck at one point i'm pretty sure i thought he was gay... =P ...

But this song is seriously made for me...If i could show her one song that really sums up all that i feel for her, it would be this song...And if anyone could make her watch this video, i would give them a big hug! =D

Anyways..have a listen...there's even english subtitles in case you have no idea what he is saying...even though he is singing in English (Like me =P)

Him: She fucking hates me...

She Fucking Hates Me - Puddle of Mud

...is exactly the song that fits here...haha...cause why? Well a friend of mine told me that she deleted her friendster account...which basically means that she has now COMPLETELY erased me from her life...why delete the friendster account? Well cause of all the past comments i gave her i guess...

So before the deleting process is complete (which takes quite a while actually...like a day or two)..i decided to look at the past comments she gave me...before i can't anymore...

From the most hurtful:

But still, a month... No response and talking, since im layaning you now a month and 7 days...I don't care if im cruel, aite. Ja. No need to reply.

To the random:

Yeah? Im a weed gone bad! Haha. Nyeh! Agatah tdur wah! Haha XP

To the sad:

Its official its today i hate ='(

To the annoying:

Haha...even if you won't call me senpai. I am one, as a fact. Haha. Your in denial. Haha XP

To the forgiving:

Haha...Officially! SELAMAT HARI RAYA! Forgive me for my mistakes, k? Love you! =3

To the sweet:

I wanna see you again too ='( ....I love you, i love you, i love you! I miss you!! Lets pray we can meet again

To the scary:

Teddy!! Guess what??? My mum saw you last night and she thinks youre 'cute' and haha shes smirking about it! Hahaha =D


I could always delete my fs, delete all of her pics, delete this blog even, like what she is doing...which to me really is kind of childish...

There's a reason why i don't like to do all of this, delete this, erase that, kind of things. Cause well it gives me something to read and reminisce about when im bored for one thing, XP ...haha...but really its cause to me, memories are one of the things that you will learn to treasure most...good or bad...

Just cause you have a bad experience, it doesn't mean that you have to erase it. Why? Cause by doing that, you will never learn anything. You would just make the same mistakes again and again...

Him: Birthday partay!!

HAHAHA...just got back from a birthday party...well second birthday party this week...yesterday had another one but i'll talk about that another time...

It was my childhood friend (ShaSha's birthday)...

It was a blast....something i really needed to cheer me up after the really bad exam results...haha...basically everyone got egg'd...i got egg'd twice....some of the videos i still have to get later on but for now enjoy these yea... =D

My Bro got egg'd..



Shasha's dad got egg'd...



Mizah got egg'd...



Shasha's dad got egg'd...again... =))



Shasha n Mizah mandi...




HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHA!!! =D

Him: A bit down....

Yea got my results today...and yea...it was pretty bad....I only got 2.27....last sem i got 3.25....that's like 1 pointer down....hahaha....i really suck... =(

Since im in no mood right now, no stories for today okeh? Sorry...

Feel the Muzic: Swing life away

Swing Life Away - Rise Against

This is one of my favourite songs of all time...Have a listen...I'm pretty sure most people would like it... =)

Btw.. The green is what i relate to most...

Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long; think that its time to move
The winter's so cold summer's over too soon
so let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand, until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away

Him & Her: Bittersweet 17th...

Ahh...its the 17th...

The date where it all started...

and also the date where it ends...

The (what should have been) third month anniversary...

Its kinda funny that we lasted exactly a month...always thought that it would last at least till the end of the year...but well life doesn't always go according to plan...

Today is also supposed to be...

Her anniversary with the ex..(Haha...yea the same date as me...i don't care really...what is in the past should stay in the past...well it should but doesn't always..)

The day my results should have come out but then they postponed it to tomorrow... =( ...(Last semester the results were out 5 days earlier than the stated date...STUPID...)

I make nice big meaty homemade burgers...but then when i tried to cook it, it pretty much just hancur in the pan...Haha...so decided to break all of the burgers, mash it up, cook it and mix it with mayo...which turned out pretty good when you eat it with the burger buns... =D

Well wherever you are right now, whether you would ever get this messege or not, whether you still hate me from the bottom of your heart or not, I just wanna say happy 17th...but most importantly, have fun yea... =)

Her: You really appreciate me don't you? ^o)

One day we were talking about Illya(the teddy she got me)...who Illya's "father" is..she kept on saying the names of all her Japorean(Japanese and Korean) idols...then i said that i'm divorcing her...cause she's been having scandles with those guys...haha...well she took that a bit seriously...and said that she would never cheat on me...and said that i am...was...the only person she loves...and also gave me these reason...

Her: Who gave Illya her name?

Her: Who stayed with me when i needed someone?

Her: Who say i love you to me everynight?

Her: Who misses me everyday?

Yea exactly... WHO have gave Illya her name? WHO was there when you needed someone? WHO said i love to you everynight? WHO misses you everyday? Up to this day? =(

Yea...feeling a little bit angry here...

I need a breather...

Him: Mystery Gal

Well I was bored so decided to open up my old drawer where I keep all of my old stuff… Mostly stuff from the past that make you go…”Oh…haha…I remember that…good times…good times…” : )

I had all of my old wallets on one side…there’s like 5-6 wallets....so decided to open each one of them…cause I have nothing better to do…haha…and in one wallet there was this piece of paper…so I opened it…and I couldn’t believe it…I finally found it…

It was a piece of small paper with some writing on it…which to most people means nothing…but to me…it was somewhat special…I remembered it like it was yesterday…(Well not really…its kinda a little bit blurry but I still remember most parts.. =D)

I wrote it about 2-3 years ago…right after I woke up one day from what to me (at the time) was the best dream ever…I wrote about the dream…mostly in short sentences well because…I just woke up and didn’t feel like writing much.. =P

You can click the picture and have a good read on what I wrote originally but here im going to extend it a bit more…

It was in a room…well not actually a room…but more of an empty space…the whole place was as white as a cloud on a sunny day…from top to bottom it as white…no walls…just an empty space of whiteness…

I was on the floor…had just woken up from a dream (How funny is that…a dream that starts with waking up from a dream)… I looked at my right side and there she was…eyes closed…sleeping…she had a slightly rounded face…dark brown, slightly wavy hair…shoulder length if I remember correctly…average height…

Slowly I turned to my side…facing her…I slid on top of her slowly…careful not to wake her…I moved the hair that partially covered the right side of her face to the side…had a good look at her…she was gorgeous…I smiled…and without a second thought…I kissed her…

Her eyes opened slowly…she had beautiful eyes…it was either green or brown…im not quite sure…but still…beautiful….She smiled…

She got up and we kissed again…this time it was longer…there was something about the kiss…it felt right…it felt like anger, hate…any negative emotions that was in me was just lifted away…a kiss from an angel it might seem…I was sure…It was real love…How real love should feel like…

I remember that after I woke up….that feeling of pure happiness was still ever present…I took a deep breath and smiled…took the nearest piece of paper and pen I could find and wrote about the dream…

Even after 3 years I still remember how that feeling feels like…heck…I felt the same feeling not too long ago…even if it was just for one night…I’m still grateful that I get to feel that kind of feeling again… : )

Random: Relationship the Bruneian way...

A friend showed me a post from one of his friends blog and it was about relationships the bruneian way...its really funny...something to lighten the mood a bit...

BTW...i did not steal this from his blog...well ok i did but he got it from a chain letter so technically he also stole from someone else... =P

1. King & Queen control, semua tah kan di control nya, baiktah bali kan kerita control. Kan control pun sadang2 la.

2. Ice queen (ego?) kelayi bukan tah kan ngakun salahnya walaupun ya salah.

3. No chemistry. inda sefahaman. surang mau ice cream, surang mau chocolate. apakan?
5. No freedom.semua inda buleh, tepaksa tapok2.. sabar sha.
6. Partner gauk2 tawa2 kan be cali kana signal2. kana cakapi "Bisai2 deh ulah atu!" aww sandi.
7. Permission, apa saja mesti tanya. parents nda lagi tanggung tu. bf / gf lah tanggung! haha.balum kawin sudah control mcm stayi drng membagi makan.
8. Jalan kadai pakai baju sama jenis, sama kaler, this is the lamest thing bruneian ani.haha!

9. Masalah damit jadi masalah basar. macam kan durang klayi pasal bekantut wah, sampai esuk2 nda betagur.

10. Ani nda semua la, Penjeles kan mati. senyum arah kawan pun inda buleh. kana tantang tarus! as if kan makan kawan partner.

12. Online sampai subuh abis tu tebalik2 I love you, I miss you. mwahs.

13. When credit abis kana marah, ada tia yg cakap.. "kenapakan abis credit ah be msg sama urang lain kah?" hahaaaaa

14. Mengusut kan mati. barang damit pun kan di kusut kan.. air liur kucing melakat arah baju pun kan menangis.

15. Sweet talker. cakap Together Forever la, janji itu ini.. sudah kawin "pi ko mampus!"

16. Couple mesti kissing. HAHAHAHAHA. ada bonus. nada yang nda kissing, nda ku caya tu. Kiss tgn pipi apa, KISS jua namanya.


18. Kalau kelayi nda teriak2 nda sah! te sumpah sumpah. words BUDUH kuar.

19. Inda cukup sorang. mau jua ada spare.handal.

21. Klayi dalam keta, drive laju2. mesti di takan minyak tu! Pastu break ngajut. Plancit air liur rah cramin dapan. Cian.sawan tia bnr.

22. SARCASTIC. hehe. ada saja kan kana sindir. sabar sha laaa!

23. Inda iklas melayan pasal hari hari jumpa. Baus bah mliat dh. Mkin panjang bulu idung.

24. Handphone 24hrs di tangan. Mcm kwnku tym main bula pun pigang hp bmsn sma gfnya.handal.alum pernah hpnya gugur.main street dh tu.handal~~

25. Tukar2 line, tukar2 handphone, email swap. Rasa bah kn liat mncek sapa dangan bf/gf kuntek.Partner mana tau..mcm msn ada yg spare lagii~

26. LOVE =! CURANG well (ofcourse, liat bini2 lawa sudah tia kan di"makan"nya.

27. Need time 4 privacy (alasan untuk putus) ada lagi reason yang paling LAME BRABIS. need space, kan belajar dulu. hahaha.I remember my ex punya alasan.He text me like this "I want us to be successful in the future, let's do a temporary break up and remember you are my only one.. " then I answered "Okay, I really love to, let's do a permanent break up, so that next time I'll be more successful than you and marrying someone much more worthful than you" yeah!

28. Partner nya msg sama urang lain bukan BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND buat "i miss you more than words?" hahaha. ani termasuk dalam golongan curang jua kali.. heh.

30. Baru 2-3 bulan together buring sudah. mau lagi yang baru. kanyang lari.

31. Kalau di tanya "handsome ka ku ni yang?" gf jawab " handsomeee ehh!! Bnr!!" tapi dalam hati (bulu idung nya tekeluar ah, unshave, baju lahib,etc)

32. Awal awal pemalu.. lama lama nda tau malu..

33. Main transfer credit.ada gi pandai bunga bunga cakap "cr me low ni..kapih lagi so masani save2 dulu bmsg" pastu ada tia kana forward kn..hahaha

34. Pengikis! hint ckp baju lawa tia, sampai partner ckp "bahh esuk balikan"

35. Couple mesti liat muvee di cinema. baru romantic ~ yuck! nada cara lain kah?

36. Anniversary celebrate tiap bulan. mau lagi arah tampat restoran patang2..abis duit. .haha.

37. Dulu2 nda jumpa sehari kan mati rasanya, masani dh jumpa kan mati plg rasanya.

38. Awal2 mau pujuk, batah2 malas tia kan pujuk. pebaik ia menangis smpai ingus nya di lantai..

39. LELAKI, kalau ada game, bula, kereta, makanan.gitar. jadi GF pertama drg tia. Nda tia drg pedulikan gfnya.ada tia bealasan.dluar ku tdi.

40. BINI2, kalau meliat ceta KOREA handsome2 angau2 , mcm BOUTA sul drg. bf nda telayan.sanggup tu bjaga abiskn 2pack CD aa.alasan tdo..AHHAHAHAHA.lagi tia.

42. Bejalan kajap ke kadai kaling pun mesti miskol pakai loudspeaker. kalau inda pun text bf/gf "yang, me kekadai kaling sebalah sekajap.membali sigup me"

43. Kalau nda kana balas miskol kana msg "behapa tu?" kana balas lagi "beria ku tdi" dahto kana tanya lagi "banar kan tu?" membari malas. hahaha.

44. Takut gf/bf inda kana suruh jalan bagi alasan TIDUR padahal bejaur. erm. Ada ni tau ku jua.

45. Partner kana balikan brg, inda pandai besyukur. mau jua yg mahal. branded. eh kira pengikis la jua..

46. Lelaki nda dapat liat bini2 hot. mcm bayi tia usul drg. mun lapar baik asak semua.

47. Bini2 kalau liat bf nya liat bini2 lain kana cubit. Kana tantang lgitu sampai2 ingus bah kuar!

48. Minta ambil, akhir sikit jadi kemarahan. mau jua on time.bini2 ni biasa camni.drg aa nda sadar mun besiap aa kan mati batahnya.laki2 harum2 nunggu smpai kuar bah bau ketiak drg nunggu.

49. Kalau be SMS, ujung2 nya mesti ada words "luv u. mwahs" its a MUST.

50. Friendster, facebook mesti ada gambar berdua.

51. MSN mesti nick nya jiwang2 example : iniots's, iniots's properties.kalau nda pun ada tia nicknya drg buat bad mood la..i don't trust u la..atu something bekenaan love life drg la tu..

52. Selalu bagi lagu macam "eh lagu ani untuk you ni dangar ahhh"

53. Bila ada urang lain.. minta putus, bila sudah putus menyasal tia kan go back.

55. Jumpa kawan lama buat inda kenal, kana ucap buang batu la itu ini. pasal takut kana marah. ciannn.

56. Kalau miskol kana reject kana ucap sma urang lain tym atu. hahaha.

57. Da problem sikit2 minta putus.rasa bah..kes baus dah ni..sudah cool kan go back tia.

58. Sanggup online 247 tunggu partner nya online....

59. Kadang2 ada yg tipu parents rasa kn bejumpa, escape sekulah. (kalau parents alom approve) biasanya bini2 illegal ni camni.illegal means below 18.haha.

P.S. Wheres Number 4?

Him: A dream...

It was on Friday morning...was tired cause i woke up at 6.45am to watch my little bro get a little operation lil boys take when they want to become a man...in other words circumcision...HAHA! XD

Well got back around 10ish and i went straight to my bed and slept...in nice air-conditioned room...

Then the dream...

Well the first thing i remember was that i met up with Ijah (Lyn's sis)...Discussing how i should approach Lyn...to talk to her about why she hates me so much....after making up a plan we went outside....she was walking away from where we were with some other girl...then she turned back around walking towards me...then suddenly Ijah ran away...and i did too...

The next thing i know i was in a room...full of people...everyone was wearing raya clothes...then i was sitting on the floor...she was in front of me...face to face...our faces getting closer and closer...i asked her..

Him: Why do you hate me so much? What happened?

Her: Its because...I...I....I don't know...

The rest of the convo is pretty much a blur...but a lot of it got to do with her being confused and have no solid reason for hating me....the best thing about it was...they way we talked to each other...as if we were close again...as if nothing really happened...Her voice was soft and sweet...like how we talked together when we were in the cinema...

Then..i woke up...

Usually i don't remember my dreams but i remembered this one...i took it as some kind of sign...cause in the afternoon i was supposed to watch Twilight with a childhood friend of mine...Knowing that she is also obsessed with Twilight like pretty much the whole girl population in Brunei...I was hoping that i would bump into her...

But...i didnt...

And Twilight was one of the movies that we promised we would watch together...

Another promise not fullfilled...

Throughout the movie there was this really cheesy moments...i kept on thinking..."Dammit"...While holding my necklass....

Him & Her: Declaration of Dependance...Part 3

Her: I think ive fallen for you...i need you...your my drug...my thots,fragments of my heart...

Him: So what is this feeling that you feel for me?

Her: Im smiling...i guess the right words to say are:

Him: are?

Her: Japanese:aishiteru Korean:Saranghaeyo German: Ich labi dech English: I love you French: j'mour toi

Him: the fact that your using aishiteru instead of daisuki... :)

Him: :):):):):):):):):):)

Her: Watashi hontou ni ai anotoki

Him: translate please?

Her: 'I really love you' :-)

Him: I really love you too... :-) ...With all my heart...

And i still do... She used aishiteru instead of daisuki....which is basically a really strong version of " I love you" which is only used when you are really serious about someone...and she confesssed in 5 different languages...wonder why she didnt add malay though...haha...yea i need a bit of laugh...cause you have no idea how hard it was for me to write this....

After this of course the usual unimaginably cliche love you blablabla...

haha...my eye is twinching...

Then the funny(Well to me) conversation about our status now....well...then...

haha...n down goes one tear....

The only thing i really wish now...is to talk to her...and ill keep on wishing it...while holding to this necklass tight...

And down goes another tear....

Him & Her: Declaration of Dependance...Part 2

After that we talked a bit about apple pie(Haha...yea...we talk about a lot of random stuff) and promised that i would have apple pie with her one day...cause surprisingly she never had apple pie but guess that's one of the promises i can't keep now...

By then she changed her nickname to : You are my drug...

Then talked about how much we liked to hug each other and stuff...if i actually posted what we said here...im pretty sure you would throw up....its so luvy duvy that you're mind would just blow... XP

And surprisingly...she was the one who started talking bout it...For someone who isn't really luvy duvy (She said that she's not all that luvy duvy to me before...haha..) she sure talks about it a lot... XD

Then...

Her: Teddy, :'( what is this feeling? Oh my god!

Him: joy, pain, happinesss,suffering, anxiety...i dare say that this is what love is supposed to feel like...

Her: Oh??Is that what i'm feeling? Is it love...for you?...Oh my god....

Him: only you know how it is you are feeling...how do you feel Lyn?

Her: I...I....

Him: Yea?

To be continued....

Him & Her: Declaration of Dependance...Part 1

Well it was on 16th of September...around 11 o'clock...as usual we were chatting online...began with how much we missed each other...to talking about hair(Haha...) Then...

Him: Owh hehe...i really should cut my hair...i think its as long as urs now...

Her: Haha...Teddy...

Him: I luv my longish hair...haha...

Her: Haha, my Teddy...Is cute...

Him: Haha..."my Teddy"...i belong to you now? Ehe...

Her: Haha. You don't want? Haha

Him: only if you belong to me...

Her: I think i already do...ehe

Him: :D

Her: Ehe...Surprise :-*

Wait...give me a sec to breathe....

Huuuuh...ok...

Well this was how it started....I belonged to her and she belonged to me... :')

At the time her nickname was the lyrics to Guren by The Gazette which was "Anata no Namaeto Nemurasete" which means "Let me sleep in your name"...Then after that she changed it to "I can't believe it.. That I'm falling for you... ;-)"

:') ...Yea...at that time i couldnt believe that someone that i genuinely like from the start likes me back...

To be continued....

Him: Putting it off a little longer...

Yea...sorry once again people reading my blog...as much as i want to write bout my declaration of dependence...i just cant seem to read the convo i had with her all the way thru...as soon as i could i will aite? =)

You know what's really annoying...the more i want to forget bout her...the more i can't...cause i know the only way it could happen is that i talk things through...and still have her in my life...

Him & Her: Yes! I did beat Jae Joong

Her: Teddy…

Him: Lyn…

Her: I missed you a lot today :’(

Him: Awwwhh…You don’t have to cry :)

Him: I missed you too…

Her: Umm..miss you very much..

Him: Miss you very much too…

Him: So what have you been doin?

Her: Been thinking of you…

Him: That’s sweet… :)

Her: I cant not think of you. I truly miss you. Like so much

Him: Don’t say that…Your making me desperately want to see you…

Her: But its true. I really miss you…So truly much

Him: Would you say you miss me more than you would ever miss Hero?

Her: Yes I miss you more than Hero :-)

Him: Yay! I finally beaten Hero.. :D

Her: :-) ehe

This was the day before we declared...So there was a time when she likes me more than Jae Joong =P …

And sorry again people…I won’t be writing about declaration today…Cause I’m afraid ill tear up…(Yes! I say it once and I’ll say it again…Real Men Cry! XP)…I just read my convo with her less than a quarter way thru and my heart won’t stop hurting… =( ..Reading back what we’ve been talking about the past two months or so I’ve been thinking…am I really JUST the rebound guy as most people say I am? Because the way we talked to each other before…the secrets she told me…secrets that the whole world doesn’t know…even her ex… do you do tell those things to the JUST rebound guy? Well ok technically the second person you get with after breaking up would be the rebound guy(Which kinda means she’s my rebound girl…Haha…)…I know that…but I would like to believe that what we had between us was real… ='(

Him: Tired and blur

Man....today was exhausting...after Hari Raya prayers help to cut the cows and lambs at the embassy... and after that had to hack off the top part of a freekin cow cause my mum wanted the brains...Yes Eww.... XP ...It was really really hard btw....

Well i was gonna write about how i turned from single to...double? Haha...I mean how i got into a relationship with her....but then...read the title again....

Tired....................................................................

So sorry people...Ill go it tomorrow aite....well ciao for now... =)

Him: Poem

I'm not that sure when i made this poem but i'm pretty sure it was after the night we were together...It was my first poem in a really really long time...the last poem i made before that i think was sometime when i was in Year 10 at school...it was a really EMO poem...how emo? Well its about people not appreciating you and the ending had something about slitting wrists...And no...it was not about me(I think) and i was not suicidal back then... =P

The Last Kiss

The evening moon high in the sky,
reflecting its blue light on us,
the cool night air gently passes by,
while our hands held on tight.

The warmth of her hand,
keeps me alive through the night,
she slowly turns her head,
her dark brown eyes stared into mine.

Her eyes sparkles,
her cheeks turn scarlet,
her lips,
a luvly red.

She closes her eyes,
her head slowly moves,
closer and closer,
her lips slightly parted.

Time stopped,
as did my heart,
my frozen lips,
felt warm again.

Him & Her: Wow...I actually did what i said i would do...

Her: What would be the first thing you would do if you see me? =3

Him: Take a really deep breath...and run...

Her: Haha...why would you run?

Him: Haha...jokin...

Him: Most probably just...say hi...and wait for your mum to interview me...haha..

Hahaha...i actually did run away when i first saw her....and hid for a bit...Hehe...Good thing she didn't see me when i ran... =D

Him: Sarah

Sorry i didn't say thanks to you Sarah....so THANK YOU!!!! =D =D =D

Sarah has been like the person ive been complaining bout my relationship ever since it started to fall apart so...yea...THANX!!! Hehe....

Him: Movie at the Mall

Couple of nights ago i went to the mall with my dad's colleague/friend, her daughter along with my lil bro n sis...Well my dad's friend wanted to buy a new phone and since I'm kind of a gadget freak, she asked me to tag along to help her find the best phone for her...(Chose the Nokia N79 for her)... hehe...

After that cause we had lots of time and everyone was bored, we decided to watch a movie...Bolt! (Quite a good movie actually =D)...

But when we arrived at the Mall cinema area, there was this feeling that i cant really explain...Kind of a cross of happiness and sadness..cause the last time i've been there was that night when i watched a movie with her....memories of what happened that night with her keeps on replaying in my mind...oh thats where we sat together when her aunt and uncle came...oh thats when she pulled my arm to tell the guy about the bookings and get our tickets...oh thats where Wafi played guitar hero while we held hands...oh thats where...thats where...those kind of thoughts just filled my mind...and all i could do was smile...cause it was one of the happiest nights of my life... =)

Feel the Muzic: Kerna Sayang

Dari tadi kau berlari
ku fikirkan.. hanya engkau yg ku idamkan
tak pernah pula kau bercerita.. siang mlm kau menderita
jangan dibiarkan perasaan menawar hati
jangan dibiarkan semuanya berlalu pergi

jgn pulangkan kerinduan
tiap kali kau berjauhan
tidak mudah ku melupakan.. kerna sayang
kali pertama di pandangan
buat ku terbang di awangan
jangan pulangkan kerinduan.. kerna sayang

engkau memungkiri janji.. bukan aku
engkau yg melupakannya.. bukan aku
hanya aku yg impikan.. agar kita berbahagia hingga ke anak cucu
tapi itu semuanya kenangan.. yg tinggal hanya perasaan
dlm doaku hanya ingin selalu di samping mu.. oh pulanglah

So far....this is the song that really depicts accurately how i feel..

Him: Thank You

I want to say thank you to all of my friends and family who've been supporting me all this time...and also all of her friends and family who've been supporting me all this time... =P

And a special thanks to BATRISYIA n FALY cause you guys been reading my blog from a start =)

Haha...this sounds like one of those thank you speeches when they give you an award... XP

Him: Inability to cry...

For an oversensitive person(As some people would call me)...i sure have a problem crying...i mean real crying...You know the type of crying where you just cant stop yourself till you suddenly fall asleep...i miss that kind of crying...

At most i could just let a few tears flow after listening to a sad song...

Life would be so much simpler if i could...Something bad happens just :'( :'( :'( ...then feel all better...and get on with life...instead of that i have to write my heart out on this blog...haha...

Her: Pain

Her: You know what song give me pain even tho its happy?

Him: Which song?

Her: Summer dream, balloons and show me your love by DBSK
Him: How come those songs give you pain?

Her: Cuz its happy. Ive never felt true happiness before...

Him: Not even once?

Her: Not even once, even if its a happy moment something is missing

Him: Hmm...how bout this...I promise that one day i would make you feel that happiness... :)
Her: Promise??
Him: Promise i would try my best...

Her: OK :-) Im actually confused between fantasy and reality

Him: But then fantasy could be turned to reality
Her: And im waiting those fantasy would become reality
Him: Believe and it will..(Man...that sounds so cheesy...)...haha..
Her: I'm hoping for it

Well i have been trying to make her happy...All the time...the closest i think that i made her really happy was when we went out together that one single night...but i wished i could have done more...

Feel the Muzic: Lucky

Her: A guy said anyone who could have me is lucky. Do you feel lucky?

Him: Well i'm listening to Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callait...So i think it is a sign that i am... :)

Her: Awhhh... I like that song.

Her: Hehe

Him: Hehe...well i think that anybody who's with me is unlucky. U feeling unlucky?

Her: Nope. I'm feeling lucky. Ehe

Him: :D

Him: I love you...



Jason Mraz: Lucky
Featuring: Colbie Callait

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Him & Her: After confessions...

Him: So where do you hang out usually?

Her: Mall, the usual place, boring~

Him: Haha...Brunei should make a second mall...call it Mall 2 :P

Her: We have Kuilap Mall

Him: I dont actually consider that a mall...kinda small...

Him: But then it does have a cinema...

Her: But it sucks

Him: So the mall is better?

Her: Nah, it sucks too

Him: Picky arent u? Haha...

Her: Very much, ehe :-)

Him: So empire cinema?

Her: I like empire cinema, :-)

Him: After movie, go for a walk in the beach...ahh...heaven...

Her: Don't forget holding hands :-) haha

Him: Lets see if that dream ever comes true... :)

Her: Your hoping for that?

Him: Well i have a list of hopes...

Him: But yea...that's one of them..

Him: :D

Her: :-)

Him & Her: Confessions...

The convo might be a bit confusing cause well i use a computer to chat and she uses a phone...So some of the messeges sent lags a bit...Stupid ebuddy.... XP

Her: How do you fell about me? Just asking

Him: Feelings...feelings? What do you mean i feel about you?

Her: You could say it as that :-)

Him: Well how do you feel about me?

Him: Honestly

Her: That :-) You hate me or something?

Him: Nah...I'm pretty sure its the opposite of hate... :)

Her: You tell me first

Her: What?

Him: Ahh...

Her: What? :-)

Him: Ok I'll tell you...

Him: I like you a lot :)

Her: How a lot is that?

Him: Is a lot measureable?

Him: You can say a lot means unmeasureable...

Her: I think so, your heart beating fast?

Him: Kinda...yours?

Her: Kinda as well... :-)

Him: So...

Him: What does the heart beating fast leads to?

Her: I don't know, me saying i like you too? :-)

Him: :)

Him: OMG..you know what song is playing now...Here Without You by Three Doors Down..

Her: Hey, i know that song

Him: I think about you and dream about you all the time...

Him: Part of the lyrics...

Him: Hehe...

Her: Its such as lonely night

Her: Its such a sweet song, :-)

Him: Yea...the best thing to do in a lonely night is to stare at the moon and think of your loved one...

Him: :)

Her: :-)

Her: I can't see the moon, :-(

Him: Yea...me neither...but here... (S) -->(Moon smiley :) )

Her: Haha...Yea...thanks :-)

Him: :)

Him & Her: Before confessions...

I edited the Izinkan lyrics and made it into : Berikan diriku secebis senyum manismu...and used it as my msn nick...BTW...if you've been reading my blog and keep on reading my blog after this....then you will see that i am one the corniest and cliche person you will ever know... =P

Her: What's with your nick? Hehe

Him: Nah...just wished i could see a luvly smile... :)

Her: Ill give you a smile ;-)

Him: Yea? And how could i see that smile?

Her: My friendster?

Him: Sure...

Him: I'd like to see that...

Him: :)

Her: Haha, thanks. :-)


Him: Ok thats quite a sweet smile :)

Her: Haha, Really?

Him: No i'm lying :P...

Him: Jokin...yea it is...

Him: You should update your pics more..

Him: Let the whole friendster universe see your sweeet smile...

Him: :D

Feel the Muzic: Izinkan

I used lyrics to this song at one time as my msn nick and pm...

"Berikan diriku secebis senyum lawa mu"


"Izinkan aku melafazkan isi hatiku"

...which started the confessions...




Ruffedge - Izinkan

Izinkan aku melafazkan isi hatiku
Kau yang satu
Bagiku tiada yang lain dari mu

Pastiku kan ubati luka mu
Segala kemahuan mu ku beri
Janjiku pada mu
Hatiku hanya untuk mu

Tiada yang lain dari mu
Hasratku hanyalah untuk mu
Izinkan aku lafazkan isi hatiku

Masihkah aku
Bertakhta di hatimu
Janji ku padamu
Hatiku kau perlu tahu

Tiada yang lain dari mu
Hasratku hanyalah untukmu
Masihkah aku
Bertakhta dalam hidupmu

Mainanku, igauanku
Hanya perasaan yang mengundang
Haruskah dirimu...oh
Membenci diriku
Ku pohon maaf dari mu

Tiada yang lain dari mu
Hasratku hanyalah untuk mu
Berikan diriku
Secebis senyum lawa mu
Ku rindu sentuhan mu

Bagaikan mentari di hati
Bila kau kembali di sisi
Kau membawa erti
Hidupku ini kembali berseri

Tiada yang lain dari mu
Hasratku hanyalah untuk mu
Izinkan aku
Lafazkan isi hatiku

Dirimu hanya untuk ku
Tiba masa kita bersama
Janji ku pada mu
Hatiku.....

Him: Am i too nice people?

Leesya: Stop being a nice boyfriend

Leesya: You should be more urmmm garang

Far: Sorry...hard to change who i am...haha...

Far: Well im just naturally nice wah...

Leesya: Okay fine, but i think, the more awak nice to ramai orang ramai, makin you kesian tau

Far: Sbb every1 else is not so nice?

Leesya: Yeaaaaaaa

OK...whats wrong with being the nice guy? The world needs more nice guys... Haha...you know they say that opposites attract right...like how gals are always attracted to those bad boys... yea...its the opposite for me...Im attracted to the "bad" girl...HAHA! XP



I think that the theory of how two opposite people are meant for each other is true...see right...couples are supposed to complete each other(or so they say)...kind of like Ying and Yang so if two of the same people are together...ok they have twice the strengths....but also twice the weakness....what good is that? If two different people are together then they have different strengths and weaknesses and in a way the strength of one half will overcome the weakness of the other half...(If you get what i mean)...The longer this "fight" lasts...the more i believe in this...