Straight From The Heart...

Run and run...

2009-08-31T18:55:00.000+08:00

It may look like its all i do...but believe me, i never intended to...

Why do i even bother?

2009-07-23T02:09:00.001+08:00

Why? I dont know...i tried and tried up to the point of giving up...WTF?

Show that u appreciate....Show that u care...Show that im being an idiot for trying....U know what...NO SUPRISE! Screw You!! Chhh...

Yea...i noticed the little things...

BTW....DONT ASK!

Happy 3 Month Anniversary...

2009-07-20T00:28:00.000+08:00

Three months...This is the first time in my life that i view the number '3' as a huge number...cause well...its pretty much a milestone to me...haha...

Luv...how u put up with my behaviour for these past couple of month is beyond my understanding...i know that i havent been much of a boyfriend cause ive pretty much MIA for the past month...Sorry... =(

Anyways hopefully the future would be better and we'll have loads more happy, good, fantastic, awesome and fun times together... ;)

Oh yea...in case u didnt know already...

I Love You <3

Ratio 34:1

2009-07-15T12:41:00.000+08:00

Today was my 1st Entrepreneurship class...Quite interesting i must say...

One of the issues discussed in the class was success and the things that comes with success...or rather what you lose to achieve success...

In order to become successful you have to be prepared to sacrifice certain things...the usual things that a normal person would think of would be sacrificing time and money...but there are also other things that one might have to sacrifice such as love and loved ones...

Then it struck me...even in relationships you have to prepare to sacrifice the same things...you have to be able to let go certain things in order to have a successful relationship...One must be able to give and take...be able to adapt oneself or maybe even change oneself to satisfy the significant other...is it worth it?

Yes...If you change for the better...

Frick...

2009-07-12T02:16:00.000+08:00

I missed my window...my thinking place...

Now there's a table between me and my window...my bro's computer table...

But still...Its my usual inspiration place so i just sit on the table and look outside...feel the cool breeze wisp by against my face...

And out of no where a freekin creature scuttled on the roof in front of the window...stood in front of me...It was just one a half feet away...kinda looks like a ferret...in stayed for about 5 seconds and ran away...haha...

I better put away the biscuits on the table in case that thing decides to come again to find food...haha....

My Creative Process...

2009-07-12T01:50:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i made a song...Well a good song...haha...

My process of making a song...

1. Find a keyword/phrase that sums up the whole song...
2. Listen to music and try to pick out certain words that i could use (Some view this as cheating...haha...)
3. Think about what the song is about...(Haha... Yea...for most people, this should be the first step...)
4. Sit in front of the computer (at times for hours) figuring out rhymes and try to find a good rhythm for the song...type them out on MS Word...
5. Read it over and over again...and put it in my "Finished Work" file if im satisfied...if not ill put it in the "Unfinished Work" file...

So far i have 5 complete songs and 1 unfinished one...well actually 2 unfinished songs but i accidentally left the file in Brunei...haha...

Second Chance...

2009-07-12T01:41:00.000+08:00

Do people really deserve a second chance?

Why give them a chance to break you down again?

Why give them a chance to repeat the same mistake again?

Why give them a chance to hurt you again?

Because they're worth it...

Peace and Serenity....

2009-07-04T02:21:00.000+08:00

I was thinking about what to name this post and well, that came out of nowhere...so...heh...haha...

I probly should stop ending every sentence with "..." ...haha...oh well...lets move on to the next agenda...

I dont know what to write now i have a chance to... =_=" ...oh Yea...how bout i just complain about some stuff here? haha...

Let start with...the end of my semester break...*sigh*...Its been fun...lets do a quick recap..This is the first holiday where i actually went somewhere outside of SEA...YaY...hahaha...Probably the last time i get to see my friends in a really long time...cause most of them are gonna go study overseas soon...might not be able to see them durin raya this year... :( ...what else? Apa lagi ahh... Hmmm....i dont know...

Haha...just kidding... =p ....probly the most important part is finally being able to meet Icha... ;)

My god i miss that girl like crazy right now...and i only had time to meet her 3 times(well 4 if you consider a 2 minute meeting actually meeting someone...haha...) ...I actually asked my mum to book my flight late (Flight is on the 6th which is actually the day my classes start...haha...) cause i thought..."Hmm...if i go back late...it mean more time for me to hang out with Icha...." *Grins to Self* ...but fate is being an ass and she's now havin a jolly good time in England while im here...in Brunei..."THE CAPITAL OF FUN!!"....Yes...that is sarcasm ppl... =_=

Talkin about fate being an ass...did i mention that Im changing campuses? Yea...WTF? I was just getting used to Shah Alam and now theyre transfering me to Petaling Jaya??? Gah...u know what that means? I have to live in a hostel again without proper/no internet connection...Which means minimum contact with Icha... *Grits teeth*...Well for now...My mum said she's gonna buy me a car so theres still hope cause if i have a car then i could still live in Shah Alam and just drive to PJ for my classes...so please fate? Be nice to me and make me happy....pleaseeeee.... =D

Just 2 more days here...damn...im gonna miss this place and the people here... =/

Jobless much...

2009-07-01T02:38:00.000+08:00

Jobless...such a meaningful word...well not really...haha...

If you want me to simplify my whole semester break...it would be that exact word... "JOBLESS"...

Well not the whole time...just...most of the time? Haha...

What the heck am i rambling about?

Its 2.42am...and i dont know why im still waiting...I might as well just go to sleep...

No...i wanna chat with my luv...come online...pretty please? /shyshy

Why do i feel so empty? =_=

Now i feel like rambling in Malay...

Nah....maybe not...

Feel the Muzic: All I Have

2009-05-26T17:21:00.000+08:00

All I Have - J. Lo feat. LL Cool J

Well i was driving my lil bro and sis to school and this song played on the radio...Its been a while since ive listened this song...so have a listen and reminisce a bit... =)

Ak mmg x leh bla...

2009-05-19T05:51:00.000+08:00

Mcm2...ak x paham btul lah...ape ape ape?

ntah...

Delete lah...mcm ak kisah sgt...

1+2=3

hualomotalagopalalayoooooooooooo....HAHAHAHAHAHA....

jobless gle ak ni...

ak ak ak...

ko ko ko...

take this and point at it...it will lead u to nowhere..

Am i moving too fast? VROOOOM!!!

besusah payah ak pikir psl bende tu ko ckp ape? ceh...

smpai blo la ni...

ak x leh bla...ko pn sme...kjp wawowu...jd org pn wawowu...pastu tetiba skrg wawowu mcm xde makne...ye la ye la...blablablablabla

(No worries...i dont get what im trying to say either... =p)

Off on a plane soon...

2009-05-13T12:10:00.000+08:00

Yay...comin back to Brunei...Meet my family...friends...and hopefully some surprises will happen soon... ;)

I have a few minutes to burn...so what to talk about...how about beauty? Haha...

Kinda random i know...

But nowadays people are always worried about...well whether they are pretty/beautiful/hot/handsome enough...

But is it really important though?

Cause beauty does not last forever...Personality does...

People always compare themselves to somebody who they think is prettier...seriously? Come on people...

Look at me...Im not the handsomest guy around but im comfortable with how i look...haha...

Just be yourself and people will love u for it... =)

Gone for a few days...

2009-05-07T16:09:00.000+08:00

Yup...for the next few days it would be just me and three dudes cruising along the east coast in a small car...Going to Terengganu...my dad's hometown + My friend's home too...

Its gonna be fun i bet but you know something is always missing...her...

I mean...ntah...i don't know what i mean actually...haha...

Another three days of no onlining...another 3 straight days of not chatting with her...another 3 days of wondering...is she ok? What is she doing right now? Does she miss me? Probably not...haha...

Kinda stereotypical i know...but hey...stereotypes are a huge part of my life...cause my life is nothing but a drama waiting to be turned into the next big hit in daytime television...as Wafi would put it...ahaha...

So what now? Should i disturb her by calling or messaging her while im away? But u know...my mum always said its not nice to disturb people... =____=

Say it too much and you take it for granted...say it too little and you say I don't care...

2009-05-05T17:17:00.000+08:00

Love seems to be THE topic nowadays...

Some people say that its not in their dictionary...

But we all know that's not true...

Haha...I'm such a romantic-less loser...

What is this so called "being romantic"?

Giving a rose? A box of chocolates? A candle light dinner? Watching the sunset?

That's all just some image people make...

So do i have to follow that "image"?

Do i have to follow other people?

Some might think so...but what is the point really? What ever happened to expressing everything in your own way? Isn't individuality that makes something special?

Love is not about finding similarities...its about respecting each others differences...

So tell me...What do i have to do to be romantic?

A damn buzy weekend...

2009-05-05T14:43:00.000+08:00

This weekend I was buzy as hell...

Here's a breakdown of what happened...

Saturday: I woke up at about 9ish...Not long after my friend called...asking me whether we are going to go to the faculty to study for my calculus paper...knowing that if i didnt, i would most probably fail and cant continue on with my course so i said yes...if i just stayed at home i would not study much and would most probably wait for my luv to post something on her FB for me to comment on...haha..

So studied with him till about 4pm and we took a break...i went to my friends room at his hostel to take a short nap...about 9pm i met up with the guy again and this time studied with a few other dudes from my class...this went on till about 12am...then...we went out...haha...

Well not for long...just for me to get some food...(didnt get to eat dinner)...went back to the hostel...studied a bit more but then my head felt like it was about to explode! So we decided to stop for now...My friend played some tunes using his friends guitar and we went to sleep...this was about 2-3am...

Sunday: FINAL EXAM DAY!! Kinda stressed a bit but i keep on saying to myself...I can do it...i can do it!! And suprisingly yea...i can do it...i think...haha...well the exam was kinda way easier compared to the old calculus exams i took so hopefully i passed... =D

After the exams went to eat with my study buddy and a few friends of his...then my cousin contacted me the next day...asking if i could help out recording a launching of some sort at a Malaysian national service camp...and of course i had to say yes...in the family i am kinda the only person who knows how to record and use a handycam decently...hehe...

My study buddy sent me home and i had to rush, pack my things and go catch a bus to KL...i wanted to check FB but then my bro whom i asked to send me to the bus stop asked me to hurry up cause he has to go somewhere after that...so i went off without checkin FB... =(

Kinda lucky i didnt ask him to wait up for a bit cause if i arrived 5 mins later the bus would have gone without me...so basically bus then took a train to the Wangsa Maju station...my cousin picked me up there and we went to her house...

Met up with my other cousins and my aunt n uncle...rested for a bit and we went out to eat...Arabian food...YUM....

After that went back home and finally i get to check FB! but the internet was painfully slow and the laptop hanged a lot... =___=" ...i was hoping that i would get to chat with my luv but then the MSN on the thing didnt work and there was also the computer hanging a lot...so i could only comment on some stuff on her FB...*sigh*...then off to slumberland...

Monday: Woke up and off to the camp...

It was kinda fun...but the handycam rosak and it keeps on saying disk error... =___=" ...and i was there for the whole day...damn it was tiring...

But yea...in the end i got a free cap and a few gifts...=D

And another thing...My luv's sis msged me usin my luv's phone...haha...as much as i want to play sms-ing i was busy then so i had to cut the sms-ing short...

Went back to my cousins house...basically did nothing the whole night...i wanted to call my luv but then i checked my credit... Rm1.01 ...damn...not enough....

Then out of the blue my luv msged me.. =D ...I used my other phone to msg her back but she didnt reply...i thought the sms didnt reach her so i persuaded my cuz to bring me to the nearest shop to get some credit...so i topped up my phone and sms-ed her again...but she didnt reply...so i guess she was sleeping...so no phone call...*sigh*

Tuesday: Ate breakfast and my cuzzins and aunt sent me back home...and now im here writing this post...haha...

Im still tired from yesterdays works but it was worth it...got some cash for it...hehe...and it was a new experience for me... (Y)

Never smart or cool, or pretty enough...

2009-04-27T20:45:00.000+08:00

Its 8.45pm...Halfway through watching an episode of Fringe...

Then i dont know...I just felt like going to my thinking place and listening to some JoJo songs...

It started with Too Little Too Late...after that Never Say Goodbye played...

Its been a while since i heard the song...

One of my favourite songs out of the first JoJo album...

Was listening to This Time just now...But i switched it to Fairy Tales...Arguably the best song out of the first album...well to me at least...

Give me a few minutes to listen to the song...

"Cant you tell me what love is all about?"
"That's why i don't believe in Fairy tales"
"There's no such thing as Fairly Tales"

Is there really no such thing as fairy tales in real life? I had always believed that one day i would have a fairy tale story of my own...Will this be the Fairy tale im looking for this time? Only time will tell...

Almost nine o'clock now...Must be something wrong with me...I feel so empty...

I turned on Exceptional...

Thinking right now...would you sing me this song one day?

Just changed the title of this blog from "Never Say Goodbye to part of the Exceptional lyrics...

I turned on Weak...

Put on my headphones...was listening using speakers right now...

Heard a few ambiguous sounds downstairs...Im supposed to be alone in my house right now...But too lazy to check...

Ok fine ill check...

Everything seems to be the same...Still just me alone...

"No way i can deny it, your love so sweet...it knocks me off my feet..."
"I swallow my pride...Your love is so sweet.."
"In a daze, your love is so amazing, its not a phase...I want you to stay with me, by my side..."

Keep on Keepin' On is playing...

Why am i typing all of this down? Who knows? Filling in this empty feeling i guess...

I'm going to stay at my uncles house tonight...he went to Indonesia with his wife...so wanted me and my bro to take care of children for a bit...

My love is online...said "ellow..."

Cant i say anything better?

Damn...i felt my heart jumped...the empty feeling is starting to disappear...

Im gonna chat with my love now...till next time...

No colours this time...some things are better as they are... ;)

A fantasy in reality i may be...so will u accept me if you see me as me?

2009-04-25T19:06:00.000+08:00

The sun sets in the distant horizon...the time? I don't care right now...

The only thing that appears in this dark abyss i call my mind is the person who captured my heart...my soul...the person who seems to be perfect in the most imperfect ways...the person who's voice is sweet and gentle...

She's cute whenever she wants to be...she's hot whenever she wants to be...she's crazy whenever she wants to be...she's romantic whenever she wants to be...and she's everything to me...

Yes...its true...I do at times think that I'm not good enough for her...I mean who wouldn't think that? Me? An un-athletic hormonal teenage emo boy with pimples and a tooth missing...ok i may be getting a bit too carried away here...but still i wouldn't be me if i didnt think that...

Someone once said: Never make promises you can't keep...

Its true i cannot promise that we will have a happy life together one day...we will always be there for each other...but i can tell u this...

Everyday i pray that we will have a happy life together one day...we will always be there for each other...that you and I are happy together even when we are worlds apart for now...that one day we would meet and the love we have will stay...that we will still be in love even when the earth stops spinning and the sun sheds its final light...

Only three words left to say and i mean it with all my heart... I love you...

To a needy child =p

2009-04-18T19:26:00.000+08:00

This is especially for Miss SARAH MST...

"I" (the I has quotation marks...Hint hint) would like to say : SPEEEECIAL THANKS TO SARAH MST FOR HER WARM HUGS.

A present for u...haha...me givin u a present on MY BIRTHDAY! =P

Birthday...

2009-04-18T18:05:00.000+08:00

Time: 6.05pm

What i should be doing: Studying

What i just did: Go to my thinking place a.k.a Window...

Its my birthday today...Wooo~ the big 18...also known as the legal age to do...ummm...legal things? Haha...

First person to wish me...Azim Pg. Chuchu...childhood friend...he wished me a happy birthday even before it is my birthday...haha... thanx bro... =D

Person who wished me birthday most number of times... Batrisyia...Once thru a comment in FB...then a msg to my phone...and then a status msg in FB...Haha...thanx a lot luv... *hugs* ;)

What i did before 12.00am...Chatted with Ayla for the first time...(Y)...Actually i was supposed to go studying with my bro and his friends...and get a nice little treat from my bro's friends after that...Haha...but ah well...decided to submerge myself in the virtual realm for the night...talk/chat Ayla who was having some problems, tried to help with the situation and had a bit of fun here and there...Hope everything goes well for u... =) ...and u better be grateful...i missed a treat for u... =p

What else happened? Had quite a few bday wishes from a few ppl... (Thanx =D)...my cuzs called me at exactly 12.00 to wish me bday...(Thanx Ina n Rara =) )...Yesh (2nd bro) gave me a box with 8 small bottles of perfumes in it...haha...That's basically the only present i got...*sob sob*....Hahahaha....what else? Ummm...went for chendol with my friend and a few of his friends (he didn't know it was my bday today i think...he didnt say anything... =p)...and that's basically it...Very eventful day, no?

And this is the 2nd time i get no birthday cake...I want cake!! Haha...wanted to buy a slice at Secret Recipe but then that would just be sad i think...haha...

Oh yea...And i got divorced today...again...well at least it lasted more than 30mins... XP

Too much sleeping...

2009-04-15T17:55:00.000+08:00

Time: 5.56pm...

What i did before: Watched 2 and a half men...

What i should be doing: STUDYING!

These past 3-4 days something weird has been happening...Ive been sleeping a lot...and when i say a lot i mean sleep at night...sleep in the afternoon and at times sleep in the late morning...so a total of about 12-14 HOURS of sleep a day... =_____=

Its not really intentional...i mean...i do open my eyes everyday at about 9-10am but then somehow i just keep on lying down, closed my eyes and poof! Im back in slumberland...

And the thing is...i usually sleep at about 12-1am....so waking at say 9 would mean that i would already have a total of 8-9 hours of good sleep...and that is wayyy more than what i usually get...which is about 5-6 hours of sleep a day...

Why damn it why?

I would like to call it mental exhaustion but lets face it...I have not been studying as much as i should... =(

Feeling "Blah.."

2009-04-13T20:55:00.001+08:00

As i type this, it is now...8.55pm...according to my trusty clock at the bottom right hand side of my screen...

What i should be doing right now? Studying of course...next Monday would be my 1st exam...*sigh*

But...as u can see im not in the mood...

Why? I don't know...i guess its cause "someone" is not online...(i sound pathetic)

But i don't blame her...she got stuff to do and i got mine...but i don't know...if i don't her online i would just feel..."blah"...Haha...

I keep on telling myself everyday that the next day i would wake up early...open my books...and study till late in the evening...but up till now...its still not happening...

I need some motivation people...HELP!!

P.S. I just realised...Colour on certain words does help express what your saying more... =P

NEW LAYOUT!!!

2009-04-13T11:14:00.000+08:00

I was bored so i searched around for a new template...Actually im not loving the look of it right now...haha...I just like it cause it has 3 columns and looks more organized...(Man i sound like a geek)...

Owh Yea...Look carefully at the star up there...its actually sparkling... >.<

It's been a while...

2009-04-04T12:59:00.000+08:00

It had been almost...2 months since my last post...haha...Yea well i know that i said i'll update at least once a week but...couldn't be bothered to...haha...cause i've been buzy with studies and stuff...(Yea right... =p)

The reason for this update is cause of sheer fear of my luvly wife and lover Batrisyia smacking me in the ass in a non-cute way...xp

This blog was originally to write "as much crap possible bout my messed up love life"...(Haha...quoting myself...=p)...but then screw that...haha...Now its dedicated to all the randomness in my life...(Y)

As proof...I've changed the look of the blog from the somber black to my favourite colour...=D

Actually i wanted a cooler looking blog but then...i don't know how to use custom templates and stuff...haha...

I did think about changing the blog address...but "another shot to the heart" still sounds wicked... =P

Now to answer the question of "have i gotten over her"...I went to my favourite place...(The window in my room =P)...and thought about it...Now this was about 10 mins before 7am...it was still quite dark...i breathed in the cool air...

To me...yea...i have gotten over her...If you have read all my previous posts, all the "She left me...i didnt know...im lovesick...heartbroken..." then u must think "Reaaaallly? ^o)" ...and the answer is still a definite YES! Haha...

I read back all of my old posts (to proof to myself really) that i am over her...and guess what i did when i read all of it...i laughed...hard and loud...XD

My god...Its amazing how emotional a guy could get...well a guy like me anyways...haha...Below are some of the stuff ive said over the course of "recovery from heartbrokenness"... =p

Seriously...two months with me...well for the first month ive been comforting you while the other being your bf...U SERIOUSLY STILL CAN'T FORGET BOUT THE GUY??!! (A very very dumb statement now i think about it...haha)

The longer this "fight" lasts...the more i believe in this... (But the fight never ends...so the believe went away...haha)

OK :-) Im actually confused between fantasy and reality (A very very true statement... XD)

And a special thanks to BATRISYIA n FALY cause you guys been reading my blog from a start =) (And also Sarah and Wafi and people who had been there...Without you guys...I might still be posting lovesick crap on this blog... =D)

haha...my eye is twitching... haha...n down goes one tear.... And down goes another tear....(This is what i call...over dramatic writing XD)

I could always delete my fs, delete all of her pics, delete this blog even, like what she is doing...which to me really is kind of childish...(And i still think the same...haha..)

Just cause you have a bad experience, it doesn't mean that you have to erase it. Why? Cause by doing that, you will never learn anything. You would just make the same mistakes again and again...(And also think the same about this...haha..)

Cause this is getting wayyy to sad...even for a...wait for it.... SHEMO (Sarcastic Happy EMO) like me... XD (Now a new definition of SHEMO exists...Its Super Hot EMO... XD)

New PC =D

2009-02-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

Sorry but haven't been able to post stuff here cause my lappy was having problems...well still have problems but at least it can be turned on...umm...ok ill start from the beginning... =D

The actual problem was that my lappy screen would just turn off or it completely freezes after turning it on for a few minutes...cause of the stupid defective display chip(apparently all laptops the same model as mine (HP DV2500...DON'T BUY IT PEOPLE!! ) will sooner or later have the same problem)...Well sent it to the shop for repairs and guess what...the technician said that the laptop can be repaired but you can only turn it on 2 hours at a time or else the same problem will happen again...and the repairs would cost Rm350...so i was like -____-" ...cause how the hell am i gonna do "work" like that...at that time in my head i kept on thinking "Dammit...my good luck is all out for this year.."

But then...my bro told me to call my dad and ask him for a new PC...at first i have doubts that he would agree to buy me another computer but after the call he said yes... HAHA =D

Well at first my dad wanted to buy me a crappy Dell laptop but i conviced him to give me Rm2000 for a new custom PC...At first wanted to buy different PC parts and assemble it myself but then my bro offered to sell his for about Rm1350(he spent about Rm1900 on it) cause he was broke... XP ...and its only been used for less than a month so... SCORE!! =D

The rest of the money i used for a new 22 inch LCD screen, adaptor, wires and a nice set of sony headphones... =D

My new 22 inch beauty XD

My new PC front view...not that pretty but good enough.. =D

One of the best thing about this PC is that it has a side window and can see all of its "insides" ... XP

Lappy Problems...

2009-01-26T00:57:00.000+08:00

Well when a hell load of good luck comes...of course bad luck is not far behind...haha...

Come on...we cant expect to have good luck all the time... =P

And bad luck came in the form of annoying the hell out of me by making me unable to use my lappy ...It keeps on randomly freezing...and really overheating....Im pretty sure u can cook an egg on my lappy...or even beef bacon... XD

Well it still freezes but less now...been uninstalling a hell load of unused software and im downloading the latest drivers for my graphic card right now and also updated my BIOS (which in normal people language means clicking a lot of different things to make laptop go faster and work better... =P)

And also ive "installed" some new "cooling devices"...

I call this "AsH Lappy Cooler Version 6.0" ....See The big white thing...Its basically 3 pieces of tissue paper soaked in water...and the three smaller ones...cotton pads soaked in water...haha...I use this whever the laptop gets so hot that it shuts down by itself...

And this one "Ash Lappy Cooler Version 3"...Basically the same three piece tissue soaked in water but i put it at the bottom left side of my lappy...This i use whenever the laptop is on...like right now...it actually helps a lot cause most of the heat is emitted from there...for some unknown reason...keeps it reasonably cool...but i have to keeps rewetting the thing from time to time cause it dries out quite fast...Quite annoying to repeat the thing from time to time but its better then letting my lappy overheating and freezing up...haha..

And this is my latest experiment...its my laptop cooler which i modified myself...changed the fan's position from the centre to the bottom left side...which as i said before where most heat comes from...but doesn't seem to work as well as i hoped though...

1901 Galore!!!

2009-01-19T19:51:00.000+08:00

Like ive said before, this year has been quite good for me... Today my bro asked if i was hungry, and even thought i wasn't really hungry, i still said yes...So my bro brought me to 1901 hotdogs at a Petronas Station...and guess what?

Today is the 19th right so they have this special promotion...only $1.99 per hotdog...my bro and didn't know that there was a promotion going on so both of us went "YES!!!"...Woohooo...Lucky day!...went to queue and when it was my turn...i said "10 hotdogs please"...the person taking the order went =O ....Hahaha...my bro and i was laughed and said we were serious....

Took bout 10 mins for them to get the hotdogs ready..

We actually just ate 1 hotdog each there and went home after that...haha...

When we reached home decided to give our housemates a hotdog each...so 3 was left...My bro ate one and i ate the other two... =D

So yea..happy day for me! Again... =D

Necklace Update! XD

2009-01-19T19:43:00.000+08:00

Haha...well the black plasticy thingy is finally off...And i was right...it does look cooler without it... d(0_0d)

Silver is more of my colour anyways...haha...Double meaning to that... =D

Feel the Muzic: Savior

2009-01-17T23:19:00.000+08:00

This is my favourite song out of the new Rise Against album...the album is really good...called Appeal To Reason..Have a listen if your into semi-heavy rock =D

BTW if you've been reading my blog all this time...You should know what the colours on the lyrics mean... =P

Read the whole way through the lyrics yea ... =D

Savior

It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten
what the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them
as the telling signs of age rain down a single tear is dropping
through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten

there is no reconciliation that will put me in my place
and there is no time like the present to drink these draining seconds
but seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you
like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear
so tell me now
if this ain't love then how do we get out?
because I don't know
that's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
that's when I told her I love you girl
but I'm not the answer to the questions that you still have

but the day pressed on like crushing weights
for no man does it ever wait
like memories of dying days
that deafen us like hurricanes
bathed in flames we held the brand
uncurled the fingers in your hand
pressed into the flesh like sand
now do you understand?
so tell me now
if this ain't love then how do we get out?
because I don't know
that' s when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
that's when I told her I love you girl
but I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have

one thousand miles away
there's nothing left to say
but so much left that I don't know
we never had a choice
this world is too much noise
it takes me under
it takes me under once again

I don't hate you
I don't hate you
so tell me now
if this ain't love then how do we get out?
because I don't know
that's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
that's when I told her I love you girl
but I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have
I don't hate you
I don't hate you, no

Dang...

2009-01-17T22:25:00.000+08:00

It's not that clear but that is my dolphin necklace and the black plastic thingy is startin to peel off... =(

Guess ive been wearing it too much...haha... =D

Might just peel off the thing soon...but without the black background...it kinda looks cooler.. =P

Weird but a nice moment...

2009-01-16T22:36:00.001+08:00

Yesterday i was waiting at the bus stop like usual....waiting for the bus from Uni to go home...But yesterday was not like any usual day cause of a little thing that happened on that bus stop...

Well the bus stopped and i was about get on the bus... Took out my wallet and took out RM1...when i was about to go on there was a tap on my shoulder...it was the girl who was sitting beside me while i was waiting for the bus...and she suddenly handed me her bus ticket..In my head i was like "Wow"...so i smiled and said thanks while she went back to sit....

So basically i got a free ride home that day...well the ticket is only Rm1...but it was nice of her to give me her ticket... =) ...not sure if she wanted something back tho... =P

Washing my clothes...

2009-01-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

...cause i was running out of shirts to wear...haha...

What's amazing is that i have a heck load of red shirts...and white...well me n my 1st bro...we're the same size so basically we share clothes...haha...

N guess what shirt is down there...look closely...

Its a shirt completely covered in MOULD!! HAHA XD

Its my shirt but before you say "EWWWHHH...ur disgusting Far!!" (XP) ....i havent worn that shirt for like 6 months...and the last person who wore it was my bro...and it was in my bro's closet when i found it....haha...

I threw it away btw...who the hell would want to keep it anyways? Haha... =P

Feel the Muzic: Wrong Number

2009-01-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

Ok...This is one of the things that i would never expect...Liking another DBSK song... =P

The first was Balloons...and liked it cause its like...the happiest song ever made!! XD And if lifts my mood up when im down... =)

Now this...

After some nagging from another DBSK maniac (=P) i watched the vid...and i have to say....its quite good actualy...Haha... I dont really like DBSK before cause they're too "pop-ish" for my taste but wrong number is different...it has a really sweet hip-hop beat to it...which is more to my liking =D ...Plus the message in the song kind of relates to someone in my family... =/

The Year So Far...

2009-01-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

...is going really well for me... =D ...Every single day something positive happens...For example...

The first day of the year i went fishing, caught 2 fishies and at night someone donated a generous amount of $$ to me... =P

Second day...got a new pair of jeans, my mum gave me some more $$ and in my flight i get to hang with an old friend of mine that i haven't seen for ages... =D

Third day...got the chance to eat a decent McD Big Mac after soooo long (McD in Brunei...not so good.. =P )...hanged with Wafi in KL and he treated me to Burger King... =D ...and got myself a wicked pair of new Sony earphones... =D

And good things happens the next day and the next...

And yesterday...the girls in my class heard that i wanted to change University and didn't want me to change..and they even offered to help in anything anytime basically of I stay on... XP

So yea...a good year so far...and hoping that my good luck streak goes on till the end of the year... =)

Flying Away....

2009-01-02T13:56:00.000+08:00

...to KL in about 5 hours...huhu! =(

Im gonna miss this place called Brunei..as boring and dull as it may seem at times.. XP

Oh yea...since im going back I'm not sure if i can update this blog as much (well depends on where i stay actually) but my promise is that i'll update at least once a week...with a hell load of new posts if it is once a week... =)

And if i don't keep that promise...you can smack me on the ass( O.0 Kinky....)
XD

For some reason i feel like putting this song... XP ....Its a nice acoustic song with a DEEP MEANING so have fun... =D

It Ends - Faber Drive

So clear silver moon
Wind moves through my room
Memories of Saturday (memories of Saturday)
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when she said
She's going away
Going away
I need to know this

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him
Goodnight, tonight
I'm blinded
I tried I tried
Is this the way
Is this the way it ends?

Dark echo's inside
Can't sleep through the night
All the words I heard you say (memories of Saturday)
Fade of the yard
Lay under the stars
Stuck down in this place
Hands on my face
I need to know this

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him
Goodnight, tonight
I'm blinded
I tried I tried
Is this the way
Is this the way it ends

Get up chase the vision
Stand up watch the world go by
Aha Aha
You found
Feel the reason
Black clouds are filling up my sky
Aha Aha

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him
Goodnight, tonight
I'm blinded
I tried I tried
Is this the way
Is this the way it ends?

Am I the fool
Am I a victim
I'd rather know
You'd rather kiss him
Goodnight, tonight
I'm blinded
I tried I tried
Is this the way
Is this the way it ends?

The Day of the New Year

2009-01-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

Was a real blast... =D

Went fishing for the first time with my dad's colleagues(Dr. Asmah)'s family...Well i went fishing with her husband while she went swimming with her daughter and my lil bro and sis...It was at Pantai Muara...

For the first time i realised...FISHING IS FUN!!! XD

Time actually passes by quickly when your fishing....

And of course the best part is the thrill of actually catching the fish...and i caught TWO!!! =D

While the Dr's husband didn't catch one.... XP

Yea i know...Beginner's luck... =P

My first catch =D

My second catch =D

That slipper is a size 9 btw...which 2 me means...The fishes were BIG!! =D

Owh yea...and this is what happens when you fish for 4 hours under the sun without any sunscreen...

Haha...i got tanned...

Note to self: WEAR SUNSCREEN!! XP

HAPPY NEW YEARS PEOPLE =)

2009-01-01T21:49:00.001+08:00

Hey hey...its finally a new year...again...Haha...

08 seriously just passed by...like a gentle wind...soft and subtle, yet swiftly... XD

Most of 08 is a blur to me really... XP

Wonder what i did on the special moment when the clock strikes 12.00am to mark the start of the new year?

SLEEPING!!! XD

Well not intentionaly...Haha...I was sooo damn tired yesterday cause i had to wake up at like 7.30am yesterday to send me daddy to the Sports Centre in Berakas for his leg treatment (He tore his ankle tendon like 2 months ago now)...and after that at like 11.00am i went out with my friends for a movie... =D ...Came back home at about 5.00pm but for some reason i had an urge to watch Gokusen (The Japanese Drama) till bout 10.30pm...Haha..

After 10.30pm till like 4.30am i was like sleeping...Surprisingly...Cause i usually have this off button inside of me that can only be switched on after 1am...Haha...But i did set an alarm to ring at 11pm but guess i subconciously turned the alarm off... XD

And guess what's the first thing i did in the new year(other than sleeping)?

Continue watching Gokusen!! HAHAHA! XP

I was actually planning going online at 12 to say new years to whoever(like me) that has nothing to do for new years =P

But oh well...Haha... =D

So anyways *Insert name here*....HAPPY NEW YEARS AND MAY THINGS TURN OUT WELL FOR YA! =D

Dammit! I need ideas!

2008-12-28T14:26:00.000+08:00

Now that i've decided to stop writing about her...I've got no idea what to put in this blog...Haha...

Well the story based on my love life is one thing that i would do....but other than that? Come on people...Contribute a little! =P

Him: Pass a messege

2008-12-26T22:59:00.001+08:00

It ends tonight - The All American Rejects -

Just feel that this song fits here... =)

What i was supposed to say on this day to her was : 100 days hv passed n we've been together thru it all..happyness...pain...hardship...n i would go thru it all again 4 another 100 years...as long as we would still b together...forever.. :)

And also: ur the air i breathe, the blood that flows in my veins, the beat in my heart...i cant live without u..

Awwwhhh~ XD

She was also supposed to say some things which i decided not to post here...cause...mehh... XD

I was gonna send her a mix CD with a list of songs which described my feelings from before the relationship till after the relationship...But then she would just give it to someone else if not break it into small pieces and throw it away... =P

There was also an idea of having a side A and side B...Side A being songs if she wanted to be friends...side B being if she didnt want to be friends...in other words...side A is love and side B anger... XP

Another idea was to send her a simple text saying that Im waving the white flag and just a goodbye but then...being her...after readin the 1st word she would either delete it or text a FUCK YOU to me... =P

Well yea...People who know her...Please pass on this message to her please? Just tell her i wish her the best yea...Do whatever she wants...As long as she's happy...well i cant lie and say that ill be happy...but...(lets just use a quote she always uses)..."I'm used to living in pain"....haha...and most imporantly... HAVE FUN! =)

Him: To Clarify...

2008-12-26T21:42:00.000+08:00

You know what? For the past 2 months or so people kept on saying " What are you doing? You could do so much better.." Or "Do you realy think she's worth it?" Or "No matter how long you wait, she would never want you back..."

Well listen people..Honestly i don't want her back... Well not right now anyways...She's wayyy far from ready... =P

All i want is...you know...for us to maintain as friends... That's all, nothing more...

Losing her as a girlfriend...ohhh....boo hoo...weep weep...yea...i got through that like a loooong time ago...Haha...

Just was bored and had too much time... XD

Losing her as a friend...Yea...that was really a shot to the heart...Seriously she is one of a kind...Someone who is fun to just talk to, just fun to have around...With her things can be as happy as a rainbow or as hectic as hell...or as romantic as the last moments in titanic =P

Yea...that was hard to get through...

Him & Her: 100th day...

2008-12-26T17:16:00.000+08:00

Before i start I'll asked this a long time ago: What happens when the beast meets beauty?

And my friend Faly gave a wicked answer: The beast becomes the beauty, and beauty becomes the beast...

(Hidden meaning there XD )

Know what today is? Its the 100th day of our relationship if it didnt die out... Haha...

I have never thought about the "100th day" actually till she suddenly said one day she's waiting for 26th December...Our 100th day together...At the time i was really blur...cause i had never once in my life thought about the 100th day...Even set up an alarm at that time just in case i forget...Haha...

And she said she never really cared about me and her... =P

Well as of this day...i would stop writing sad stuff about my messed up relationship with her...well il try my best anyways...Maybe just follow the advice of some people and make an actual story losely(or heavily =P) based on my love life... =P

Cause this is getting wayyy to sad...even for a...wait for it.... SHEMO (Sarcastic Happy EMO) like me... XD

Dammit...i just found some juicy stuff bout her saying she doesn't care that im sensitive or sarcastic....(She couldn't stand my sensitivity supposedly)...But i've decided to stop this talking about me and her...well after today... XP

But still never mind...couldn't really be bothered anymore...i got bored...Haha... XP

Him: The Feeling of Not Being Missed

2008-12-25T15:08:00.000+08:00

I made this poem, surprisingly, just a few days before the fight...Haha...I don't really know why though =P ...I also wonder if this is one of the factors that caused the fight...But well...Who knows...

Warning: The EMONESS of the following might cause severe depression, mental breakdowns and/or thoughts of suicide. (XP)

The Feeling of Not Being Missed

Sorry...but there is a feeling of emptiness,

of pain and sorrow ever present in this hollow heart,

the cold feeling of a one sided relationship.

Every time i see your picture,

the feeling of missing you is ever present,

which i am not sure you deserve,

as i am not sure if you feel the same...

Confusion withers this young mind,

the feeling of one missing the other,

more than the other,

the feeling of being lost,

the fear of being found again.

So here,

my last gift to you,

a single tear,

and a withered black rose... --;-;-@

Song Writing: A song for her...

2008-12-22T22:01:00.000+08:00

This is a song i made up with a friend of mine...about 2 months ago i guess...made especially for her... =P

Its not exactly complete but its bout 3/4 way done...so enjoy...

Untitled

[Chorus]
Everytime I looked in your eyes,
I see the pain inside of you,
Something I wished I could erase,
Something that I tried to do.

But looks like my efforts turned to dust,
Looks like what I did wasn’t enough,
Now that I’m gone from your life,
The fire in my heart is snuffed…

[Rap/Verse 1]
Now all I need is a simple song,
to rest this wondering mind.
Wondering who really is at fault,
Knowing that it’s not my fault,
But sure wishing it was mine.

Thinking all day what I should I have done,
Wondering if I could somehow turn back time,
Change all the things that I have said,
Change all the things that I have done,
Just to make you feel happy and pleased,
To know that I’m always there in your time of need,
Please tell me girl if there is something I could do,
Not just write me off your life and make me feel like a tool.

[Chorus]

[Rap/Verse 2]
Your words pulled me out of a dark abyss,
yet now they sting like a viper's kiss,
my life was hanging on the thinnest thread,
and with you ignoring me that life is as good as dead,
Thought to heal my tainted soul,
yet you dug me a 6 foot deep hole.

[Chorus]

Writing credit to:
Unknown76 and FFW of PMT

Feel the Muzic: Love story

2008-12-22T15:44:00.000+08:00

Honestly...I have never been a fan of Rain...Heck at one point i'm pretty sure i thought he was gay... =P ...

But this song is seriously made for me...If i could show her one song that really sums up all that i feel for her, it would be this song...And if anyone could make her watch this video, i would give them a big hug! =D

Anyways..have a listen...there's even english subtitles in case you have no idea what he is saying...even though he is singing in English (Like me =P)

Him: She fucking hates me...

2008-12-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

She Fucking Hates Me - Puddle of Mud

...is exactly the song that fits here...haha...cause why? Well a friend of mine told me that she deleted her friendster account...which basically means that she has now COMPLETELY erased me from her life...why delete the friendster account? Well cause of all the past comments i gave her i guess...

So before the deleting process is complete (which takes quite a while actually...like a day or two)..i decided to look at the past comments she gave me...before i can't anymore...

From the most hurtful:

But still, a month... No response and talking, since im layaning you now a month and 7 days...I don't care if im cruel, aite. Ja. No need to reply.

To the random:

Yeah? Im a weed gone bad! Haha. Nyeh! Agatah tdur wah! Haha XP

To the sad:

Its official its today i hate ='(

To the annoying:

Haha...even if you won't call me senpai. I am one, as a fact. Haha. Your in denial. Haha XP

To the forgiving:

Haha...Officially! SELAMAT HARI RAYA! Forgive me for my mistakes, k? Love you! =3

To the sweet:

I wanna see you again too ='( ....I love you, i love you, i love you! I miss you!! Lets pray we can meet again

To the scary:

Teddy!! Guess what??? My mum saw you last night and she thinks youre 'cute' and haha shes smirking about it! Hahaha =D

I could always delete my fs, delete all of her pics, delete this blog even, like what she is doing...which to me really is kind of childish...

There's a reason why i don't like to do all of this, delete this, erase that, kind of things. Cause well it gives me something to read and reminisce about when im bored for one thing, XP ...haha...but really its cause to me, memories are one of the things that you will learn to treasure most...good or bad...

Just cause you have a bad experience, it doesn't mean that you have to erase it. Why? Cause by doing that, you will never learn anything. You would just make the same mistakes again and again...

Him: Birthday partay!!

2008-12-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA...just got back from a birthday party...well second birthday party this week...yesterday had another one but i'll talk about that another time...

It was my childhood friend (ShaSha's birthday)...

It was a blast....something i really needed to cheer me up after the really bad exam results...haha...basically everyone got egg'd...i got egg'd twice....some of the videos i still have to get later on but for now enjoy these yea... =D

My Bro got egg'd..

Shasha's dad got egg'd...

Mizah got egg'd...

Shasha's dad got egg'd...again... =))

Shasha n Mizah mandi...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHA!!! =D

Him: A bit down....

2008-12-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

Yea got my results today...and yea...it was pretty bad....I only got 2.27....last sem i got 3.25....that's like 1 pointer down....hahaha....i really suck... =(

Since im in no mood right now, no stories for today okeh? Sorry...

Feel the Muzic: Swing life away

2008-12-18T00:02:00.000+08:00

Swing Life Away - Rise Against

This is one of my favourite songs of all time...Have a listen...I'm pretty sure most people would like it... =)

Btw.. The green is what i relate to most...

Am I loud and clear or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long; think that its time to move
The winter's so cold summer's over too soon
so let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand, until you hold my hand

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

[Chorus]
We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away
Swing life away

Him & Her: Bittersweet 17th...

2008-12-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

Ahh...its the 17th...

The date where it all started...

and also the date where it ends...

The (what should have been) third month anniversary...

Its kinda funny that we lasted exactly a month...always thought that it would last at least till the end of the year...but well life doesn't always go according to plan...

Today is also supposed to be...

Her anniversary with the ex..(Haha...yea the same date as me...i don't care really...what is in the past should stay in the past...well it should but doesn't always..)

The day my results should have come out but then they postponed it to tomorrow... =( ...(Last semester the results were out 5 days earlier than the stated date...STUPID...)

I make nice big meaty homemade burgers...but then when i tried to cook it, it pretty much just hancur in the pan...Haha...so decided to break all of the burgers, mash it up, cook it and mix it with mayo...which turned out pretty good when you eat it with the burger buns... =D

Well wherever you are right now, whether you would ever get this messege or not, whether you still hate me from the bottom of your heart or not, I just wanna say happy 17th...but most importantly, have fun yea... =)

Her: You really appreciate me don't you? ^o)

2008-12-16T21:03:00.001+08:00

One day we were talking about Illya(the teddy she got me)...who Illya's "father" is..she kept on saying the names of all her Japorean(Japanese and Korean) idols...then i said that i'm divorcing her...cause she's been having scandles with those guys...haha...well she took that a bit seriously...and said that she would never cheat on me...and said that i am...was...the only person she loves...and also gave me these reason...

Her: Who gave Illya her name?

Her: Who stayed with me when i needed someone?

Her: Who say i love you to me everynight?

Her: Who misses me everyday?

Yea exactly... WHO have gave Illya her name? WHO was there when you needed someone? WHO said i love to you everynight? WHO misses you everyday? Up to this day? =(

Yea...feeling a little bit angry here...

I need a breather...

Him: Mystery Gal

2008-12-16T02:01:00.000+08:00

Well I was bored so decided to open up my old drawer where I keep all of my old stuff… Mostly stuff from the past that make you go…”Oh…haha…I remember that…good times…good times…” : )

I had all of my old wallets on one side…there’s like 5-6 wallets....so decided to open each one of them…cause I have nothing better to do…haha…and in one wallet there was this piece of paper…so I opened it…and I couldn’t believe it…I finally found it…

It was a piece of small paper with some writing on it…which to most people means nothing…but to me…it was somewhat special…I remembered it like it was yesterday…(Well not really…its kinda a little bit blurry but I still remember most parts.. =D)

I wrote it about 2-3 years ago…right after I woke up one day from what to me (at the time) was the best dream ever…I wrote about the dream…mostly in short sentences well because…I just woke up and didn’t feel like writing much.. =P

You can click the picture and have a good read on what I wrote originally but here im going to extend it a bit more…

It was in a room…well not actually a room…but more of an empty space…the whole place was as white as a cloud on a sunny day…from top to bottom it as white…no walls…just an empty space of whiteness…

I was on the floor…had just woken up from a dream (How funny is that…a dream that starts with waking up from a dream)… I looked at my right side and there she was…eyes closed…sleeping…she had a slightly rounded face…dark brown, slightly wavy hair…shoulder length if I remember correctly…average height…

Slowly I turned to my side…facing her…I slid on top of her slowly…careful not to wake her…I moved the hair that partially covered the right side of her face to the side…had a good look at her…she was gorgeous…I smiled…and without a second thought…I kissed her…

Her eyes opened slowly…she had beautiful eyes…it was either green or brown…im not quite sure…but still…beautiful….She smiled…

She got up and we kissed again…this time it was longer…there was something about the kiss…it felt right…it felt like anger, hate…any negative emotions that was in me was just lifted away…a kiss from an angel it might seem…I was sure…It was real love…How real love should feel like…

I remember that after I woke up….that feeling of pure happiness was still ever present…I took a deep breath and smiled…took the nearest piece of paper and pen I could find and wrote about the dream…

Even after 3 years I still remember how that feeling feels like…heck…I felt the same feeling not too long ago…even if it was just for one night…I’m still grateful that I get to feel that kind of feeling again… : )

Random: Relationship the Bruneian way...

2008-12-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

A friend showed me a post from one of his friends blog and it was about relationships the bruneian way...its really funny...something to lighten the mood a bit...

BTW...i did not steal this from his blog...well ok i did but he got it from a chain letter so technically he also stole from someone else... =P

1. King & Queen control, semua tah kan di control nya, baiktah bali kan kerita control. Kan control pun sadang2 la.

2. Ice queen (ego?) kelayi bukan tah kan ngakun salahnya walaupun ya salah.

3. No chemistry. inda sefahaman. surang mau ice cream, surang mau chocolate. apakan?
5. No freedom.semua inda buleh, tepaksa tapok2.. sabar sha.
6. Partner gauk2 tawa2 kan be cali kana signal2. kana cakapi "Bisai2 deh ulah atu!" aww sandi.
7. Permission, apa saja mesti tanya. parents nda lagi tanggung tu. bf / gf lah tanggung! haha.balum kawin sudah control mcm stayi drng membagi makan.
8. Jalan kadai pakai baju sama jenis, sama kaler, this is the lamest thing bruneian ani.haha!

9. Masalah damit jadi masalah basar. macam kan durang klayi pasal bekantut wah, sampai esuk2 nda betagur.

10. Ani nda semua la, Penjeles kan mati. senyum arah kawan pun inda buleh. kana tantang tarus! as if kan makan kawan partner.

12. Online sampai subuh abis tu tebalik2 I love you, I miss you. mwahs.

13. When credit abis kana marah, ada tia yg cakap.. "kenapakan abis credit ah be msg sama urang lain kah?" hahaaaaa

14. Mengusut kan mati. barang damit pun kan di kusut kan.. air liur kucing melakat arah baju pun kan menangis.

15. Sweet talker. cakap Together Forever la, janji itu ini.. sudah kawin "pi ko mampus!"

16. Couple mesti kissing. HAHAHAHAHA. ada bonus. nada yang nda kissing, nda ku caya tu. Kiss tgn pipi apa, KISS jua namanya.

18. Kalau kelayi nda teriak2 nda sah! te sumpah sumpah. words BUDUH kuar.

19. Inda cukup sorang. mau jua ada spare.handal.

21. Klayi dalam keta, drive laju2. mesti di takan minyak tu! Pastu break ngajut. Plancit air liur rah cramin dapan. Cian.sawan tia bnr.

22. SARCASTIC. hehe. ada saja kan kana sindir. sabar sha laaa!

23. Inda iklas melayan pasal hari hari jumpa. Baus bah mliat dh. Mkin panjang bulu idung.

24. Handphone 24hrs di tangan. Mcm kwnku tym main bula pun pigang hp bmsn sma gfnya.handal.alum pernah hpnya gugur.main street dh tu.handal~~

25. Tukar2 line, tukar2 handphone, email swap. Rasa bah kn liat mncek sapa dangan bf/gf kuntek.Partner mana tau..mcm msn ada yg spare lagii~

26. LOVE =! CURANG well (ofcourse, liat bini2 lawa sudah tia kan di"makan"nya.

27. Need time 4 privacy (alasan untuk putus) ada lagi reason yang paling LAME BRABIS. need space, kan belajar dulu. hahaha.I remember my ex punya alasan.He text me like this "I want us to be successful in the future, let's do a temporary break up and remember you are my only one.. " then I answered "Okay, I really love to, let's do a permanent break up, so that next time I'll be more successful than you and marrying someone much more worthful than you" yeah!

28. Partner nya msg sama urang lain bukan BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND buat "i miss you more than words?" hahaha. ani termasuk dalam golongan curang jua kali.. heh.

30. Baru 2-3 bulan together buring sudah. mau lagi yang baru. kanyang lari.

31. Kalau di tanya "handsome ka ku ni yang?" gf jawab " handsomeee ehh!! Bnr!!" tapi dalam hati (bulu idung nya tekeluar ah, unshave, baju lahib,etc)

32. Awal awal pemalu.. lama lama nda tau malu..

33. Main transfer credit.ada gi pandai bunga bunga cakap "cr me low ni..kapih lagi so masani save2 dulu bmsg" pastu ada tia kana forward kn..hahaha

34. Pengikis! hint ckp baju lawa tia, sampai partner ckp "bahh esuk balikan"

35. Couple mesti liat muvee di cinema. baru romantic ~ yuck! nada cara lain kah?

36. Anniversary celebrate tiap bulan. mau lagi arah tampat restoran patang2..abis duit. .haha.

37. Dulu2 nda jumpa sehari kan mati rasanya, masani dh jumpa kan mati plg rasanya.

38. Awal2 mau pujuk, batah2 malas tia kan pujuk. pebaik ia menangis smpai ingus nya di lantai..

39. LELAKI, kalau ada game, bula, kereta, makanan.gitar. jadi GF pertama drg tia. Nda tia drg pedulikan gfnya.ada tia bealasan.dluar ku tdi.

40. BINI2, kalau meliat ceta KOREA handsome2 angau2 , mcm BOUTA sul drg. bf nda telayan.sanggup tu bjaga abiskn 2pack CD aa.alasan tdo..AHHAHAHAHA.lagi tia.

42. Bejalan kajap ke kadai kaling pun mesti miskol pakai loudspeaker. kalau inda pun text bf/gf "yang, me kekadai kaling sebalah sekajap.membali sigup me"

43. Kalau nda kana balas miskol kana msg "behapa tu?" kana balas lagi "beria ku tdi" dahto kana tanya lagi "banar kan tu?" membari malas. hahaha.

44. Takut gf/bf inda kana suruh jalan bagi alasan TIDUR padahal bejaur. erm. Ada ni tau ku jua.

45. Partner kana balikan brg, inda pandai besyukur. mau jua yg mahal. branded. eh kira pengikis la jua..

46. Lelaki nda dapat liat bini2 hot. mcm bayi tia usul drg. mun lapar baik asak semua.

47. Bini2 kalau liat bf nya liat bini2 lain kana cubit. Kana tantang lgitu sampai2 ingus bah kuar!

48. Minta ambil, akhir sikit jadi kemarahan. mau jua on time.bini2 ni biasa camni.drg aa nda sadar mun besiap aa kan mati batahnya.laki2 harum2 nunggu smpai kuar bah bau ketiak drg nunggu.

49. Kalau be SMS, ujung2 nya mesti ada words "luv u. mwahs" its a MUST.

50. Friendster, facebook mesti ada gambar berdua.

51. MSN mesti nick nya jiwang2 example : iniots's, iniots's properties.kalau nda pun ada tia nicknya drg buat bad mood la..i don't trust u la..atu something bekenaan love life drg la tu..

52. Selalu bagi lagu macam "eh lagu ani untuk you ni dangar ahhh"

53. Bila ada urang lain.. minta putus, bila sudah putus menyasal tia kan go back.

55. Jumpa kawan lama buat inda kenal, kana ucap buang batu la itu ini. pasal takut kana marah. ciannn.

56. Kalau miskol kana reject kana ucap sma urang lain tym atu. hahaha.

57. Da problem sikit2 minta putus.rasa bah..kes baus dah ni..sudah cool kan go back tia.

58. Sanggup online 247 tunggu partner nya online....

59. Kadang2 ada yg tipu parents rasa kn bejumpa, escape sekulah. (kalau parents alom approve) biasanya bini2 illegal ni camni.illegal means below 18.haha.

P.S. Wheres Number 4?

Him: A dream...

2008-12-14T22:09:00.000+08:00

It was on Friday morning...was tired cause i woke up at 6.45am to watch my little bro get a little operation lil boys take when they want to become a man...in other words circumcision...HAHA! XD

Well got back around 10ish and i went straight to my bed and slept...in nice air-conditioned room...

Then the dream...

Well the first thing i remember was that i met up with Ijah (Lyn's sis)...Discussing how i should approach Lyn...to talk to her about why she hates me so much....after making up a plan we went outside....she was walking away from where we were with some other girl...then she turned back around walking towards me...then suddenly Ijah ran away...and i did too...

The next thing i know i was in a room...full of people...everyone was wearing raya clothes...then i was sitting on the floor...she was in front of me...face to face...our faces getting closer and closer...i asked her..

Him: Why do you hate me so much? What happened?

Her: Its because...I...I....I don't know...

The rest of the convo is pretty much a blur...but a lot of it got to do with her being confused and have no solid reason for hating me....the best thing about it was...they way we talked to each other...as if we were close again...as if nothing really happened...Her voice was soft and sweet...like how we talked together when we were in the cinema...

Then..i woke up...

Usually i don't remember my dreams but i remembered this one...i took it as some kind of sign...cause in the afternoon i was supposed to watch Twilight with a childhood friend of mine...Knowing that she is also obsessed with Twilight like pretty much the whole girl population in Brunei...I was hoping that i would bump into her...

But...i didnt...

And Twilight was one of the movies that we promised we would watch together...

Another promise not fullfilled...

Throughout the movie there was this really cheesy moments...i kept on thinking..."Dammit"...While holding my necklass....

Him & Her: Declaration of Dependance...Part 3

2008-12-13T20:08:00.000+08:00

Her: I think ive fallen for you...i need you...your my drug...my thots,fragments of my heart...

Him: So what is this feeling that you feel for me?

Her: Im smiling...i guess the right words to say are:

Him: are?

Her: Japanese:aishiteru Korean:Saranghaeyo German: Ich labi dech English: I love you French: j'mour toi

Him: the fact that your using aishiteru instead of daisuki... :)

Him: :):):):):):):):):):)

Her: Watashi hontou ni ai anotoki

Him: translate please?

Her: 'I really love you' :-)

Him: I really love you too... :-) ...With all my heart...

And i still do... She used aishiteru instead of daisuki....which is basically a really strong version of " I love you" which is only used when you are really serious about someone...and she confesssed in 5 different languages...wonder why she didnt add malay though...haha...yea i need a bit of laugh...cause you have no idea how hard it was for me to write this....

After this of course the usual unimaginably cliche love you blablabla...

haha...my eye is twinching...

Then the funny(Well to me) conversation about our status now....well...then...

haha...n down goes one tear....

The only thing i really wish now...is to talk to her...and ill keep on wishing it...while holding to this necklass tight...

And down goes another tear....

Him & Her: Declaration of Dependance...Part 2

2008-12-12T20:18:00.000+08:00

After that we talked a bit about apple pie(Haha...yea...we talk about a lot of random stuff) and promised that i would have apple pie with her one day...cause surprisingly she never had apple pie but guess that's one of the promises i can't keep now...

By then she changed her nickname to : You are my drug...

Then talked about how much we liked to hug each other and stuff...if i actually posted what we said here...im pretty sure you would throw up....its so luvy duvy that you're mind would just blow... XP

And surprisingly...she was the one who started talking bout it...For someone who isn't really luvy duvy (She said that she's not all that luvy duvy to me before...haha..) she sure talks about it a lot... XD

Then...

Her: Teddy, :'( what is this feeling? Oh my god!

Him: joy, pain, happinesss,suffering, anxiety...i dare say that this is what love is supposed to feel like...

Her: Oh??Is that what i'm feeling? Is it love...for you?...Oh my god....

Him: only you know how it is you are feeling...how do you feel Lyn?

Her: I...I....

Him: Yea?

To be continued....

Him & Her: Declaration of Dependance...Part 1

2008-12-11T20:11:00.000+08:00

Well it was on 16th of September...around 11 o'clock...as usual we were chatting online...began with how much we missed each other...to talking about hair(Haha...) Then...

Him: Owh hehe...i really should cut my hair...i think its as long as urs now...

Her: Haha...Teddy...

Him: I luv my longish hair...haha...

Her: Haha, my Teddy...Is cute...

Him: Haha..."my Teddy"...i belong to you now? Ehe...

Her: Haha. You don't want? Haha

Him: only if you belong to me...

Her: I think i already do...ehe

Him: :D

Her: Ehe...Surprise :-*

Wait...give me a sec to breathe....

Huuuuh...ok...

Well this was how it started....I belonged to her and she belonged to me... :')

At the time her nickname was the lyrics to Guren by The Gazette which was "Anata no Namaeto Nemurasete" which means "Let me sleep in your name"...Then after that she changed it to "I can't believe it.. That I'm falling for you... ;-)"

:') ...Yea...at that time i couldnt believe that someone that i genuinely like from the start likes me back...

To be continued....

Him: Putting it off a little longer...

2008-12-10T22:04:00.000+08:00

Yea...sorry once again people reading my blog...as much as i want to write bout my declaration of dependence...i just cant seem to read the convo i had with her all the way thru...as soon as i could i will aite? =)

You know what's really annoying...the more i want to forget bout her...the more i can't...cause i know the only way it could happen is that i talk things through...and still have her in my life...

Him & Her: Yes! I did beat Jae Joong

2008-12-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

Her: Teddy…

Him: Lyn…

Her: I missed you a lot today :’(

Him: Awwwhh…You don’t have to cry :)

Him: I missed you too…

Her: Umm..miss you very much..

Him: Miss you very much too…

Him: So what have you been doin?

Her: Been thinking of you…

Him: That’s sweet… :)

Her: I cant not think of you. I truly miss you. Like so much

Him: Don’t say that…Your making me desperately want to see you…

Her: But its true. I really miss you…So truly much

Him: Would you say you miss me more than you would ever miss Hero?

Her: Yes I miss you more than Hero :-)

Him: Yay! I finally beaten Hero.. :D

Her: :-) ehe

This was the day before we declared...So there was a time when she likes me more than Jae Joong =P …

And sorry again people…I won’t be writing about declaration today…Cause I’m afraid ill tear up…(Yes! I say it once and I’ll say it again…Real Men Cry! XP)…I just read my convo with her less than a quarter way thru and my heart won’t stop hurting… =( ..Reading back what we’ve been talking about the past two months or so I’ve been thinking…am I really JUST the rebound guy as most people say I am? Because the way we talked to each other before…the secrets she told me…secrets that the whole world doesn’t know…even her ex… do you do tell those things to the JUST rebound guy? Well ok technically the second person you get with after breaking up would be the rebound guy(Which kinda means she’s my rebound girl…Haha…)…I know that…but I would like to believe that what we had between us was real… ='(

Him: Tired and blur

2008-12-08T21:35:00.000+08:00

Man....today was exhausting...after Hari Raya prayers help to cut the cows and lambs at the embassy... and after that had to hack off the top part of a freekin cow cause my mum wanted the brains...Yes Eww.... XP ...It was really really hard btw....

Well i was gonna write about how i turned from single to...double? Haha...I mean how i got into a relationship with her....but then...read the title again....

Tired....................................................................

So sorry people...Ill go it tomorrow aite....well ciao for now... =)

Him: Poem

2008-12-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

I'm not that sure when i made this poem but i'm pretty sure it was after the night we were together...It was my first poem in a really really long time...the last poem i made before that i think was sometime when i was in Year 10 at school...it was a really EMO poem...how emo? Well its about people not appreciating you and the ending had something about slitting wrists...And no...it was not about me(I think) and i was not suicidal back then... =P

The Last Kiss

The evening moon high in the sky,
reflecting its blue light on us,
the cool night air gently passes by,
while our hands held on tight.

The warmth of her hand,
keeps me alive through the night,
she slowly turns her head,
her dark brown eyes stared into mine.

Her eyes sparkles,
her cheeks turn scarlet,
her lips,
a luvly red.

She closes her eyes,
her head slowly moves,
closer and closer,
her lips slightly parted.

Time stopped,
as did my heart,
my frozen lips,
felt warm again.

Him & Her: Wow...I actually did what i said i would do...

2008-12-07T20:52:00.000+08:00

Her: What would be the first thing you would do if you see me? =3

Him: Take a really deep breath...and run...

Her: Haha...why would you run?

Him: Haha...jokin...

Him: Most probably just...say hi...and wait for your mum to interview me...haha..

Hahaha...i actually did run away when i first saw her....and hid for a bit...Hehe...Good thing she didn't see me when i ran... =D

Him: Sarah

2008-12-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

Sorry i didn't say thanks to you Sarah....so THANK YOU!!!! =D =D =D

Sarah has been like the person ive been complaining bout my relationship ever since it started to fall apart so...yea...THANX!!! Hehe....

Him: Movie at the Mall

2008-12-06T17:39:00.001+08:00

Couple of nights ago i went to the mall with my dad's colleague/friend, her daughter along with my lil bro n sis...Well my dad's friend wanted to buy a new phone and since I'm kind of a gadget freak, she asked me to tag along to help her find the best phone for her...(Chose the Nokia N79 for her)... hehe...

After that cause we had lots of time and everyone was bored, we decided to watch a movie...Bolt! (Quite a good movie actually =D)...

But when we arrived at the Mall cinema area, there was this feeling that i cant really explain...Kind of a cross of happiness and sadness..cause the last time i've been there was that night when i watched a movie with her....memories of what happened that night with her keeps on replaying in my mind...oh thats where we sat together when her aunt and uncle came...oh thats when she pulled my arm to tell the guy about the bookings and get our tickets...oh thats where Wafi played guitar hero while we held hands...oh thats where...thats where...those kind of thoughts just filled my mind...and all i could do was smile...cause it was one of the happiest nights of my life... =)

Feel the Muzic: Kerna Sayang

2008-12-06T17:30:00.000+08:00

kerna sayang - VE

Dari tadi kau berlari
ku fikirkan.. hanya engkau yg ku idamkan
tak pernah pula kau bercerita.. siang mlm kau menderita
jangan dibiarkan perasaan menawar hati
jangan dibiarkan semuanya berlalu pergi

jgn pulangkan kerinduan
tiap kali kau berjauhan
tidak mudah ku melupakan.. kerna sayang
kali pertama di pandangan
buat ku terbang di awangan
jangan pulangkan kerinduan.. kerna sayang

engkau memungkiri janji.. bukan aku
engkau yg melupakannya.. bukan aku
hanya aku yg impikan.. agar kita berbahagia hingga ke anak cucu
tapi itu semuanya kenangan.. yg tinggal hanya perasaan
dlm doaku hanya ingin selalu di samping mu.. oh pulanglah

So far....this is the song that really depicts accurately how i feel..

Him: Thank You

2008-12-06T17:22:00.000+08:00

I want to say thank you to all of my friends and family who've been supporting me all this time...and also all of her friends and family who've been supporting me all this time... =P

And a special thanks to BATRISYIA n FALY cause you guys been reading my blog from a start =)

Haha...this sounds like one of those thank you speeches when they give you an award... XP

Him: Inability to cry...

2008-12-05T15:50:00.000+08:00

For an oversensitive person(As some people would call me)...i sure have a problem crying...i mean real crying...You know the type of crying where you just cant stop yourself till you suddenly fall asleep...i miss that kind of crying...

At most i could just let a few tears flow after listening to a sad song...

Life would be so much simpler if i could...Something bad happens just :'( :'( :'( ...then feel all better...and get on with life...instead of that i have to write my heart out on this blog...haha...

Her: Pain

2008-12-04T13:27:00.000+08:00

Her: You know what song give me pain even tho its happy?

Him: Which song?

Her: Summer dream, balloons and show me your love by DBSK
Him: How come those songs give you pain?

Her: Cuz its happy. Ive never felt true happiness before...

Him: Not even once?

Her: Not even once, even if its a happy moment something is missing

Him: Hmm...how bout this...I promise that one day i would make you feel that happiness... :)
Her: Promise??
Him: Promise i would try my best...

Her: OK :-) Im actually confused between fantasy and reality

Him: But then fantasy could be turned to reality
Her: And im waiting those fantasy would become reality
Him: Believe and it will..(Man...that sounds so cheesy...)...haha..
Her: I'm hoping for it

Well i have been trying to make her happy...All the time...the closest i think that i made her really happy was when we went out together that one single night...but i wished i could have done more...

Feel the Muzic: Lucky

2008-12-03T20:39:00.000+08:00

Her: A guy said anyone who could have me is lucky. Do you feel lucky?

Him: Well i'm listening to Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callait...So i think it is a sign that i am... :)

Her: Awhhh... I like that song.

Her: Hehe

Him: Hehe...well i think that anybody who's with me is unlucky. U feeling unlucky?

Her: Nope. I'm feeling lucky. Ehe

Him: :D

Him: I love you...

Lucky - Jason Mraz ft Colbie Cailat

Jason Mraz: Lucky
Featuring: Colbie Callait

Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Him & Her: After confessions...

2008-12-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

Him: So where do you hang out usually?

Her: Mall, the usual place, boring~

Him: Haha...Brunei should make a second mall...call it Mall 2 :P

Her: We have Kuilap Mall

Him: I dont actually consider that a mall...kinda small...

Him: But then it does have a cinema...

Her: But it sucks

Him: So the mall is better?

Her: Nah, it sucks too

Him: Picky arent u? Haha...

Her: Very much, ehe :-)

Him: So empire cinema?

Her: I like empire cinema, :-)

Him: After movie, go for a walk in the beach...ahh...heaven...

Her: Don't forget holding hands :-) haha

Him: Lets see if that dream ever comes true... :)

Her: Your hoping for that?

Him: Well i have a list of hopes...

Him: But yea...that's one of them..

Him: :D

Her: :-)

Him & Her: Confessions...

2008-12-02T13:09:00.000+08:00

The convo might be a bit confusing cause well i use a computer to chat and she uses a phone...So some of the messeges sent lags a bit...Stupid ebuddy.... XP

Her: How do you fell about me? Just asking

Him: Feelings...feelings? What do you mean i feel about you?

Her: You could say it as that :-)

Him: Well how do you feel about me?

Him: Honestly

Her: That :-) You hate me or something?

Him: Nah...I'm pretty sure its the opposite of hate... :)

Her: You tell me first

Her: What?

Him: Ahh...

Her: What? :-)

Him: Ok I'll tell you...

Him: I like you a lot :)

Her: How a lot is that?

Him: Is a lot measureable?

Him: You can say a lot means unmeasureable...

Her: I think so, your heart beating fast?

Him: Kinda...yours?

Her: Kinda as well... :-)

Him: So...

Him: What does the heart beating fast leads to?

Her: I don't know, me saying i like you too? :-)

Him: :)

Him: OMG..you know what song is playing now...Here Without You by Three Doors Down..

Her: Hey, i know that song

Him: I think about you and dream about you all the time...

Him: Part of the lyrics...

Him: Hehe...

Her: Its such as lonely night

Her: Its such a sweet song, :-)

Him: Yea...the best thing to do in a lonely night is to stare at the moon and think of your loved one...

Him: :)

Her: :-)

Her: I can't see the moon, :-(

Him: Yea...me neither...but here... (S) -->(Moon smiley :) )

Her: Haha...Yea...thanks :-)

Him: :)

Him & Her: Before confessions...

2008-12-02T12:44:00.000+08:00

I edited the Izinkan lyrics and made it into : Berikan diriku secebis senyum manismu...and used it as my msn nick...BTW...if you've been reading my blog and keep on reading my blog after this....then you will see that i am one the corniest and cliche person you will ever know... =P

Her: What's with your nick? Hehe

Him: Nah...just wished i could see a luvly smile... :)

Her: Ill give you a smile ;-)

Him: Yea? And how could i see that smile?

Her: My friendster?

Him: Sure...

Him: I'd like to see that...

Him: :)

Her: Haha, thanks. :-)

Him: Ok thats quite a sweet smile :)

Her: Haha, Really?

Him: No i'm lying :P...

Him: Jokin...yea it is...

Him: You should update your pics more..

Him: Let the whole friendster universe see your sweeet smile...

Him: :D

Feel the Muzic: Izinkan

2008-12-02T12:15:00.000+08:00

I used lyrics to this song at one time as my msn nick and pm...

"Berikan diriku secebis senyum lawa mu"

"Izinkan aku melafazkan isi hatiku"

...which started the confessions...

Izinkan - V.E feat Ruffedge

Ruffedge - Izinkan

Izinkan aku melafazkan isi hatiku
Kau yang satu
Bagiku tiada yang lain dari mu

Pastiku kan ubati luka mu
Segala kemahuan mu ku beri
Janjiku pada mu
Hatiku hanya untuk mu

Tiada yang lain dari mu
Hasratku hanyalah untuk mu
Izinkan aku lafazkan isi hatiku

Masihkah aku
Bertakhta di hatimu
Janji ku padamu
Hatiku kau perlu tahu

Tiada yang lain dari mu
Hasratku hanyalah untukmu
Masihkah aku
Bertakhta dalam hidupmu

Mainanku, igauanku
Hanya perasaan yang mengundang
Haruskah dirimu...oh
Membenci diriku
Ku pohon maaf dari mu

Tiada yang lain dari mu
Hasratku hanyalah untuk mu
Berikan diriku
Secebis senyum lawa mu
Ku rindu sentuhan mu

Bagaikan mentari di hati
Bila kau kembali di sisi
Kau membawa erti
Hidupku ini kembali berseri

Tiada yang lain dari mu
Hasratku hanyalah untuk mu
Izinkan aku
Lafazkan isi hatiku

Dirimu hanya untuk ku
Tiba masa kita bersama
Janji ku pada mu
Hatiku.....

Him: Am i too nice people?

2008-12-01T09:45:00.000+08:00

Leesya: Stop being a nice boyfriend

Leesya: You should be more urmmm garang

Far: Sorry...hard to change who i am...haha...

Far: Well im just naturally nice wah...

Leesya: Okay fine, but i think, the more awak nice to ramai orang ramai, makin you kesian tau

Far: Sbb every1 else is not so nice?

Leesya: Yeaaaaaaa

OK...whats wrong with being the nice guy? The world needs more nice guys... Haha...you know they say that opposites attract right...like how gals are always attracted to those bad boys... yea...its the opposite for me...Im attracted to the "bad" girl...HAHA! XP

I think that the theory of how two opposite people are meant for each other is true...see right...couples are supposed to complete each other(or so they say)...kind of like Ying and Yang so if two of the same people are together...ok they have twice the strengths....but also twice the weakness....what good is that? If two different people are together then they have different strengths and weaknesses and in a way the strength of one half will overcome the weakness of the other half...(If you get what i mean)...The longer this "fight" lasts...the more i believe in this...

Emo letter: Part 4

2008-11-30T21:23:00.000+08:00

The letter, Illya n the Necklace

comments (on FS) but then you said..." ohh..I'll check later...cause i have to go offline to check..." Well it doesn't seem to be the case when your ex comments you...Your status was happily online when you commented him back...You have no idea how pissed i was...But what really pissed me off is that your comments (To him) sounds so regretful...always nice...like your the one at fault when actually he was (at fault for leaving you for no reason)...Seriously...two months with me...well for the first month ive been comforting you while the other being your bf...U SERIOUSLY STILL CAN'T FORGET BOUT THE GUY??!! ( Yea...i was really pissed at the time...now i know that its damn hard to forget about your first love...So if you are reading this...SORRY! For the 43rd time...) The way you talked last night was really hurtful(to me)...As if im just another rebound guy while he's your one and only love...So all the times you said you missed me and love me...was it a lie? Lies created out of sympathy? Well i don't need your sympathy...Seriously...if you love him that much, then you might as well break up with me...What's the point of having a relationship where i would forever feel like the third wheel?

Lastly, I wanna say that...Yes...I really truly love you with all my heart...I would even say that your my first true love...but if you still can't forget bout the past...I might as well move on without you...then staying in a one sided relationship....

Damn....i was quite pissed when i wrote this letter....haha...

What's funny was that....Yea she broke up with me...without me knowing about it...Cutting off all connection with me completely and suddenly telling people you were free from me...(As if i trapped her somehow.. -_-") ...Come on....break up properly lah...TALK TO ME! If you don't to stay a couple...fine...i can live with that...but suddenly wrote me off your life completely...refusing to see me after i basically begged Wafi to bring me to your house....That's another story...still praying everyday to talk bout what the hell happened and how you hate me so much after i basically did what you told me to...(not to contact her for a month...well a month and a week cause a week after the fight[the fight was on our 1st month anniversary] i called to apologised and the only thing she could do was mumble and say she's sleepy -_-" and the next day say that she's ignoring me longer)

Her: Poetry

2008-11-30T10:45:00.000+08:00

This is a poem she wrote...She gave it to me when i was feeling really down and pathetic...My heart just melted when i read this...This was the moment when i really fell for her... =)

Impressions

Night by night
Day by day
Waiting for you is what im looking forward to
I sincerely thank you for being with me
Youve filled in the empty corners of my mind
The emptiness ive always been
The warmth you gave me opened my eyes to a new world
Youve rescued me from the shadows of past
Now all i can say is thank you

Emo letter: Part 3

2008-11-29T22:00:00.000+08:00

HAHA! We just stared at each other...Smiling...Oh yea...All the toilets were closed and i really needed to go =P(Kinda random i know..haha) ...Then the call the Ngian was gonna pick you up...U were pissed...so was Wafi...Can see now that Wafi really hated that guy too...We waited outside...Chatting...Wafi wanted to me to take a pic of the poklens but didn't really happen...was too dark...hehe...but then i did take a surprise pic of you...you looked kinda pissed in that pic but still...cute.. =$ =) ...Ngian and ur mum arrived...you salam everyone but then when you picked up my hand...siap cium tangan lagi..to me...such a sweet ending to that day...

Now seriously, why have you changed? The only time we said we love each other is at the end of our convos... we dont even say we miss each other anymore... =( ...you started to treat me like any other guy...with your constant insults...a couple of times keep on callin me gay... -_-" ...yea funny at first but still when you keep on dragging it on...well it made me think...Do you really want me to be gay? I mean...then you would have a real good reason to dump me ^o)

Yesterday really hurts you know. Before, you expressed to me how much you hated him(Her ex) and not to search for his FS...I just said ok...but then yesterday I said i saw your comment to him...You kept on ngusuting...telling me to tell you the whole story(of how i suddenly know stuff about him)...When? How? Why? Told you he added me and gave you a comment...Then not long after that you said BRB...I thought you went to cry or something but then you came back and said you went to comment him back...What really pissed me off was that last time not long ago...3 days ago i think i said i gave you a few surprise (To be continued)...

Emo letter: Part 2

2008-11-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

After ice-cream, we met back with Wafi n Hafiz...Chilling on the chair behind the cinema stairs..there you were putting your head on my shoulder...Then your uncle and aunty came. AHAHA! CUAK GLER! I tried to look innocent when you went "OH FUCK!" After the awkward salam2 with them, we went to watch Wafi and Hafiz playing rockband drums. Quite cool cause after that other random people started playing too =) Then i remembered you till wanted to hold my hand even though unc and aunt was like 10 feet away? HAHA. You said you don't care anymore cause now the secret is gonna be out. Then we bought popcorn and drinks... Wafi wanted two drinks so we bought him the two drinks. He was actually surprised that we did..hehe..Hanged around the stairs for a bit, met up with Bill N Bak... Bill actually asked if you were my gf...I said yes... =$ ...then off to the movie! I sat at the end, you were beside me,then Ijah, Hafiz n Wafi. The next two things im not sure which happened first... Me putting my arms on your shoulders or you (Censored for privacy =P) The movie haven't even started yet... =$ ...The movie was a blur really cause we started tangling legs, you taking my hand and caressing it against your soft cheeks...ur plump lips. I remembered (Sorry censored... XP) and you said it tickles =P ...But most of all i remembered most was the (*beep*) ...well more like 5-6 (*Beep*) ...i sucked at (*beep*) ...haha...Except the last one...which was long and sweet...Didn't catch the end of the movie cause of that =$ ...Cuak gler when they turned on the lights...(something something i wont write here =P) I'm pretty sure Wafi saw something but maybe its just me...Funny how Wafi was discussing bout the movie and we were REALLY blur....Especially when he wanted to talk bout the end...

Yea all the stuff i didn't put up...Don't think too much bout it yea....No...chances are its not what you think (Sick bastards) =P

Emo letter: Part 1

2008-11-27T17:05:00.001+08:00

Well at one time i was really emo(a week after the break i think) and suddenly wrote this letter (well kind of a letter)...Wrote like 4 pages long...haha...it was right before i have my Calculus retest =P ...Ill divide it into 4 sections and probably gonna post it in the next 4 days or so...

Excuse the bad language(Mind wasn't thinking straight..haha..) and i might cut off some really private stuff that is supposed to be kept confidential between me n her (Paham2 lah =P)

Hey Lyn =). You know what? I can't take this anymore. All this time I thought that I made you happy. The time we met a Wafi's house. The first time i saw you, i actually ran back to Wafi's room. I was that scared! =)) Then decided to have a lil chat with ur sis[Ijah]...she told me to not break your heart. I thought, wow, your sister really cares about you. You must be someone really special to her. Hanged at Wafi's room, till we're forced out of the room. That's when i saw you. your love shaped face, fluffy black short hair, slightly pinkish face and luvly red lips. Your hands on the side of the sofa, looking down at something while listening to your mp3. You looked at me and smiled. It was a luvly smile. We went down, ate a bit, keeping contact to a minimum cause, i know,first time in a year since we looked at each other in the eyes. The rest of the night was pretty normal. Oh yea, Illya =D . She smelled so sweet[She sprayed her perfume on her] =) . Then off to the mall with the ustad[sending the ustad to the strawberry cake house]. It was funny when we reached the strawberry cake house, you and Ijah hid. Hilarious actually...we has a small chat...then reached the mall. Went to the cinema area first. Picked out 4bia. Waited in line while Wafi and his bro[Hafiz] went off to look for some games. Our turn to buy the tickets. I asked you to go but you pulled my arm to the counter. You have no idea how my heart jumped! =) After buying the tickets we decided to split, Me, U n Ijah, Wafi with Hafiz. Before we even reached the escalator you clinged to my arm. Again my heart jumped and it was beating faster than ever. Had fun talking, holding hands while we went to the video store, book store.. oh yea...we had gelato. You and Ijah had mint, i wanted yogurt but u said masam[Sour] so i took the peach instead. Oh yea...remember the two random dudes...how they tried every single flavor of gelato there is...haha...I liked how easy it was for you to have a convo with them. That exact time i thought...Damn...I'm lucky...

Feel the Muzic: Haruskah?

2008-11-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

Haruskah - Adam AF2

Di kala dikau mencari cinta
Aku memberi... tetapi tak pernah ku rasakan
Di kala aku dilamun cinta dengan dirimu
Mengapa kau jauh dariku

Tiada cinta di dalam dirimu
Biarpun kau kata baby I love you
Tidak kau rasa getaran ini
Tiada cinta lain sehebat cintaku

Haruskah aku menanti cinta ini
Kerna kau masih tak mengerti hatiku
Tak perlu kau ucap 'Baby I love you so'
Kerna cinta darimu tak sehebat cintaku

Haruskah aku menahan perasaan
Tak sanggup kau bermain di fikiranku
lupakan semua apa diimpikan
Jadikan pengalaman cinta, kita berdua

Setelah semuanya berlalu.... hatiku sepi
tapi ku harus hadapi
Hidup tanpa curahan cintamu

Love You Now

2008-11-25T12:58:00.000+08:00

Up till now i still feel the same way...after all the crap i've been through...

I'm lovesick and she's sick of love...

I hate that i love her and she loves to hate me...

How messed up is that...I'm even wearing the necklace she gave me at this moment...I even have Illya (Lil cute teddy bear she gave me) right beside my bed...i really want to throw it away but i donnow...too sayang...

[/One Day/]

Her 2nd last msg to me

2008-11-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

Well this was her 2nd last msg 2 me:

If you are jealous, you should have said so, in the first place. Im not trying to be cruel or anything, im taking a break. From this moment and on for about i dont know a month? Im not talking to you, i wont respond to you. I want to concentrate on things and i dont want you bugging my head. Im taking measures for what i called my fault.. Geez, we're on break from this moment and thats final. Ja ne.

A couple of contradictions there...for one she said that she's not trying to be cruel or anything like that by not responding to me for a month? Yea that's not cruel... -_-"

Another contradiction...If its her fault then how is it that I'm bugging her head?

Ok...if you want to end a relationship...do it properly....not suddenly out of the blue just cut off all connection without saying a word...seriously? who the hell does that?

Klau dah tawar hati ke, jeleous ke cakap je lah...buat orang tak puas hati je...

And you do know that this kind of thing will haunt u again and again...SO END IT ALREADY! THIS WILL NOT END UNTIL YOU TALK TO ME!

Journey to her house...

2008-11-24T23:10:00.000+08:00

Well it was right after football funday at JIS(An annual event at my old school where teams kick a round ball into goal posts and see who wins... XP)...JIS team lost btw....HAHAHAHA! Oh yea back to my story...well...the Joga guys(One of those ball kicking teams) wanted to go eat at Giant so yea i went along...became their driver...well who cares...i like driving... =P

Yea...eat eat eat...then me n Wafi went of to Lyn's house...Why did i want to go to her house? Well a surprise visit...have her talk to me and tell me how the hell did i become her most hated person cuase im still blur up till now and end things properly if its the best....Wafi was forced to show me the way cause i brought him 10 packets of sour skittles...haha...bribing using skittles...oh yea... i bought a rose for Lyn beforehand at Giant...why? well cause i promised i would when i come back to Brunei...n a promise is a promise...she said that she liked roses that's red or black...but no black so red it is...

Well i parked the car right outside the house...Wafi wont come with me to see her cause he's afraid that she would kill him...haha...Dude...ur three times her size! But he was nice enough to messege her to ask if she was home...n she said she was so i asked Wafi to tell her to open the door and i left Wafi in the car with the nice cooling aircon on and walked to the front door... i waited n waited...i think 10 mins passed and i got a msg...from Wafi...it says " She wants you to get the fuck away :) I asked if she could at least have some humanity...hold on..."

So yea i held on...waited...n waited...then another msg "Dude she is seriously being hell to persuade. Just leave now...btw throw the rose into her balcony and yell sorry and its over and you wont see her again"..

So i msged hell no to Wafi cause ive been waiting so long for this....i even freekin drove to her house which is quite damn far away and he replied "No, she wants you to leave...like...get the fuck off leave. Just do what i told you to do. Add some drama to keep me interested"

Haha...yea...wanted to keep things interesting so i rang the doorbell twice...waited a bit and rang again....then someone opened the door...i asked if i could see Lyn...she said hold on n went upstairs...i decided to wait outside and came two little kids....Lyn's little bro n sis...quite cute...the sis keeps on skipping rope n the bro keeps on asking me "what's this? " pointing at the rose "what's this?" pointing at my watch "what's this?" pointing at my wallet in my pocket... =) ...i gave the rose to the lil bro and asked him to give it to Lyn...he went up and went back down and said he gave it to her...then the person came back down and said she wont come down...so i told her to pass a msg sayin that i was sorry(even thought i wasnt even sure what i was sorry for) and its been one month....

That night i got a comment from someone that Lyn gave the rose to her...haha...well at least she didnt burn it or something...

Fighting a losing battle...

2008-11-24T22:21:00.001+08:00

Hey ,
what is this blog about? Well just me writing as much crap possible bout my messed up love life...hahaha...just expressing myself...well the real reason for me writing is because i want to be less dependant on a certain something that gives a short high feeling which feels so gooooood.....(No...not drugs.. =P) ...plus its another way for me to express my creative side...hahaha...so have fun...